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PART III : THEORY
7 . Returning to the community
( See Preparing to return to the community and Preparing a survivor to reunite with her family and social network in Part II , pages 110-111 and 112-113 .)
Several issues arise when survivors wish to return to their community or family . First of all , many are unable to do so because they have been thrown out by their husbands or family or remain at risk from a violent relationship , or because their relatives have disappeared or been displaced by conflict . Women survivors may have too few resources to survive on their own . Other issues include how to empower women when they return , how to take care of their children , and how to evaluate the risks they face .
A helper can feel frustrated when , after recovering in the health centre , a woman decides to return to a violent relationship or to an environment in which she is likely to be raped again . Helpers can feel that all their work with the survivor was for nothing , while they must worry anew about her safety and that of her children . In fact , it is inappropriate to criticise or in any way challenge the survivor ’ s choices . Breaking out of a violent situation is often a long process , and it is important that women who are at risk take decisions in their own best interest and feel responsible for them . The helper ’ s role is to assist and help them in that process .
When a woman cannot go home to her family or community , it is always especially difficult to assist her to earn an income for herself . Women survivors are in great need of opportunities to work , as well as skills . Wherever possible , organisations should cooperate to provide survivors with starter packs and support that help them to make a living outside the health centres .
How can you prepare a survivor for life in her old community or in a new one ?
Discuss with her how she can mobilise a support network . Encourage survivors to put in words their goals and hopes for the future . Help them to identify their personal strengths , and talk about how they can use these to reach their goals .
Do not establish goals for the survivor based on your definition of ‘ what ’ s best ’. Discuss whether there are good alternatives , and talk about the importance of even small steps . Help the survivor to believe that she can regain control over her life .
Help the survivor to recognise that caring for her own safety is important . Do a risk analysis . Will she be safe when she returns home ? If possible involve local organisations which provide medical advice , shelter or other services that assist survivors to move , settle into new homes and make friends . Be attentive to the survivor ’ s fears . Help her foresee dangers and plan for her safety .