May 2019 Issue #29 May 2019 Issue #29 - Page 133

Are you ready? Let’s jump right in! 1. Having unrealistic expectations One of the fastest routes to destroying your gay relationship is having unre- alistic expectations of the person you are dating. This means that you pos- sess a list of “musts” that you feel a partner must have in order for things to work. Examples include: Specific, unyielding salary requirements of your mate Expecting your partner to always be in a good mood Assuming your partner can “read your mind” Thinking your mate will be sexually satisfying each time you make love 2. Clingy codependency Another way some gay men obliterate their relationships is by becoming too clingy. This means needing to know where your man is during every second of the day and approaching the relationship from a place of distrust instead of trust. Over the course of time, the end result is the slow erosion of the bonds that once brought the two of you together in the first place. Examples include: Robo-texting your mate and expecting immediate responses Demanding to know where your partner is throughout the day Check-call to their phone – including while they are at work Going through their phone to check messages and emails Projecting intentions from a previous relationship onto your current one 133