May 2016 - Page 76

differently than the women who came before, especially those who endured a quiet and often silent suffering. Of course, that’s precisely what needs to happen. Only by letting go of the patterns of the past can women (and men) be fully present in their power as they face the future. And remember, those ancestors who may not have gotten the chance to speak up would have loved to have had the 76 | Eydis Magazine opportunity to use their voices and their power in a more open and direct way. Breaking old patterns isn’t disloyal, perhaps it’s actually the realization of our mothers’ and grandmothers’ secret desires, as well as our own. Bear in mind that we don’t need to be true to anyone but ourselves in order to “belong” in our family system. Specifically, we don’t need to express an allegiance or show love in a particular way in order to appease that person who gave us life. Mothers know how to push that guilt button, and believe me, it works on boys too. Many times, most notably in bitter divorce cases, the dynamics can get quite intense. “If you love me, you’ll hate your father” may never be directly spoken, but the subconscious message is conveyed nonetheless.