May 2016 - Page 55

all right, but I think you already know that’s not how this is going to work. You can take away the scary girl but there’s a reason he has connected with her, and the reason doesn’t disappear when she does. He will connect with another one just like her—or at least, equally emotionally toxic. Dear Terrified Mama, There are many ways in which I can relate to what you said, so I can well understand your fears. Having survived plenty of those nightmares, I wouldn’t wish them on anyone. Your letter raises a few concerns and all of them lead back to your son. Whether he goes to rehab or to another continent or to the moon, the source of the problem will be right there with him because it begins with how he views himself and the world. He can go to rehab but if he doesn’t really commit to his own wellbeing, he can give it all the lip service he wants, be let out, and go right back to living the way he has been for years. The only way he will begin to surround himself with a healthier environment and people who are a much more positive influence is if he heals his relationship with himself. That’s what is at the center of this mess and there’s nothing external that can fix it. He’s got to want it for himself and then follow through on making the changes that will get him to a much better place. I wish I could tell you that moving him somewhere else would make everything be All of us have our lessons to learn, our paths to walk. Just love him and support him as best as you can, but mind your boundaries. Do not allow yourselves to be manipulated or enable him. You might want to look into some sort of support for families of addicts to be sure you don’t get caught up in an unhealthy cycle in which you and your husband become your son’s emotional hostages. Best of luck to you. Liberty Liberty Forrest is an awardwinning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution. | 55