Two weeks ago Friday i was scared brainless....
I was sitting on my bed, my back up against the headboard reviewing some work papers when i got the call. It felt disturbing before the voice spoke. Without warning I suddenly sank into an instant emptiness, depression, shocked, and without knowing why, i just began weeping. I couldn't even feel my body or my legs.
My mind also went numb, flooded by an inner unexplained lightning bolt of pain. Six seconds later, (which seemed like an eternity), the voice at the other end of the line began to speak
My buddy Ryan committed suicide. I couldn't speak or move or sleep or eat for two full days...
Life is way more fragile than we know until we're blindsided by senseless tragedy.
Ryan's life had been tough, he had a cumulative history of psychological pain. A highly negative and critical relationship with his parents, a nervous breakdown in his 30's, he'd been through an earlier difficult divorce and failed in two businesses. He couldn't seem to get a break and complained frequently of his being victimized by others, their ill will, stupidity, manipulation and corruptness. He was definitely a wounded soul.
I grew up with Ryan, we had many parallels. Our parents knew each other and we'd been through a lot together. Lately he'd begun coming to me for consolation because he knew I'd been through similar events and emerged from the pain, renewed, healthy and joyful, but even though he saw the light at the end of his sadness tunnel, he was rarely a happy camper even in his best times. He just couldn't seem to get with what he wanted most, which was simply was to just steadily feel good, instead of bad, sad or fear!
Ryan was a a good man, a good soul. He was an intelligent, attractive looking, caring and an athletic bodied guy.
But he thought of his circumstances as that's "just life," thats the way things happen and are. He never learned how to be happy, and never pursued it to find out the resolution process. He was defeated, he just settled. (Can you relate?) The possibility or roadmap of feeling good never quite hit his consciousness in an implementable way.
I couldn't help thinking, if he'd had some elevation knowledge or joy training, earlier in life, how different his life might have turned out.
I then thought about all those millions of people out there that never had the tools or directions to transcend their pain. A few years ago I read that over 2.9 billion people have reported they live in pain, depression, fear or anger, (and those are just the psychologically documented cases)
The Feel Good
Principles
Imagine what the world would be like if everyone felt good 90% of the time....