Maleficent Magazine | Page 53

Waking Up Dead

There are no alarms clocks in heaven. Proof positive that prayers are heard and answered. Made me smile each day here. Five days since I arrived and each day just began. On schedule. It’s schedule. My schedule. Some schedule. I woke up exactly on time, opened my eyes, and smiled the day in. Heaven felt like heaven. It just looked like my home in Utah.

Left the warm bed and headed up the stairs. Same stairs, same house, and same me. Except I was dead. Woke up that way and have been that way ever since. Headed for some breakfast.

I knew the house would be empty. Just me and all that I knew as home back when life was for the living. Tried to understand why the fact that everyone I knew was somewhere else didn’t bother me. How could I be on this side of life and not miss the ones that made my life worth living? Hmmmm. Should hurt like a motherfucker but it didn’t. Must be one of those heavenly lessons I will learn one of these days. It would wait. Time for coffee right now.

At the top of the stairs, I was dressed. Showered, shaved, and dressed. Didn’t actually do the sharing, showering, etc. but it was done. Morning breath was not allowed in this heaven. Magic came in all sizes and me being fully dressed in clothes that were exactly right was presto in the best form. Heaven really had lots of cool stuff happening.

The smell of coffee led the way to the kitchen. Just like home but the refrigerator here had a icemaker. Wanted one of them back in life and got one now. As for the coffee, the elves made a damn good cup of Joe. I tried to picture angels making the java while I slept but that didn’t stick. It became elves that looked more like garden gnomes in my head. They were barristers extraordinaire. Talented rascals.

Condensed milk was right where it belonged. A gloop, a stir, and my morning kiss was ready. Headed to the porch and snagged a banana along the way. Breakfast would be quick this morning. A visitor was due. My first one. He would arrive just after breakfast, take his coffee black, and have answers for me. How did I know? Hey, this is heaven. That much I knew. The coffee really was that good.