Malayzia Mag
vital views and opinions first. This conversation should include but should not be limited to views about religion, children, goals and occupational choices (especially if military is one of them), geographic choice, etc. Some of these things can break the relationship if views greatly differ.
6. When you are married, you will need to be able to put your ego aside. An egotistical person is someone who is convinced that they not only aren't wrong but also can't be wrong so compromise will become impossible. If your pride is more important to you than the feelings of your spouse, you are not ready to be married. Biting your tongue is sometimes a very large part of getting along in a marriage.
7. Everything that you think is not meant to be said and in the heat of the moment you must be especially careful of what you say because words can never be taken back. Regardless of how many times you apologize, hurtful words leave an imprint in the mind and on the heart of the person on the other end of them. Some say that what you say when you're mad represent what you really feel so be sure you never say anything just to be hurtful or mean. Learn to have a sensor.
8. PRIVACY. When you get married, chances are you will have little to no privacy. The person you are planning to marry will be the person that you wake up to every morning and go to sleep next to every night. This person’s priorities become yours and vice versa. You will develop a group of mutual friends and MUST learn to at least tolerate everyone who comes with the package including the in-laws. Joint bank accounts and phone bills leave absolutely no room for secrets so if secrecy and discretion are important to you, marriage may not be the best move.
9. Know and accept your significant other because what you see is what you get. Marriage can be like buying a used car. He or she comes “as is” with no warranty and no exchange or return. Marriage (just like having a baby) is not an easy fix and should not be taken as the expectation that anything will change. If change is what you hope for, you should wait to see results before you say “I DO”. It is unfair to both them and you to expect them to change who they are and have been all along if that is the person you fell in love with.
10. Communicate! This is the second most important part of making a marriage work. Being able to talk to one another will avoid a lot of the common causes of divorce. Being honest and straight-forward is also vital. Communication is the only way to set boundaries and express expectations therefore setting the pace for the relationship. This will ultimately reduce if not avoid arguments and misconceptions down the line. Unless you have married a psychic, this is the only way a marriage will work.
Lastly, remember that YES and NO are not the only two answers to “the question”. Sometimes “Not right now” or “let’s give some time” are just as good. Don’t rush into it. Good luck and congratulations!
-Candace Mays
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