also look at the worst case outcome and
realize that perhaps it is more in her head
than in reality. What’s the worst that can
happen after this scenario occurs? Will
she lose her home or her job? Chances
are probably not. Mary could share her
fears with a trusted friend, a mentor or
a coach to help her put the situation into
perspective.
Many of us are also familiar with the term
‘making excuses.’ I don’t have the time
to write down my goals. I don’t have the
money to take up a new course. I am not
sure this is the right decision for me.
Banish the excuses and start. Neil
Gaiman said, “Sometimes the best way
to learn something is by doing it wrong
and looking at what you did.” Does that
remind you of school days when you got
a sum wrong, you looked for how to do it
right? And you learnt that way too?
She needs to understand the best way for
her to learn as not everyone does well
with individual learning or with going to
a classroom every day.
Once Mary identifies what is going to
work for her, she needs to go further and
start. What do you think could prevent
Mary from starting?
Most of us are familiar with the term
self-motivation. Some call it will power.
Self-motivation is the ability to get things
done without having external forces
pushing you to complete a task or activity.
Self-motivation is regarded as a key skill
needed to succeed in various tasks. How
can one be self-motivated? Here are some
tips for this.
- Start - just start. Starting is usually
the most difficult part of any task.
Procrastination is one of the things that
can prevent you from starting as does a
need to being perfect.
- Let go of perfectionism - there are times
we feel we cannot move forward until the
plan is perfect. What if we try and it isn’t
perfect? The urge to ensure everything
is right means that we can be held back
from even taking the first step. Just start
remember?
- Have an accountability partner - having
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someone to hold you accountable is
another very powerful tool that allows you
to feel you need to move forward when
there is someone ‘watching.’ Choose an
accountability partner wisely, someone
who will encourage you as well as remind
you of what you have committed to.
- Surround yourself with people who lift
you up and support you in your journey.
You need the cheering squad to cheer you
on.
- Books or videos on self-motivation may
also give you more ideas on how to go
about keeping the momentum going.
There is something else that can stop Mary
from moving forward. It is fear. Fear is
an emotion that makes you feel afraid or
worried that something bad will happen
or something that will cause pain or harm.
As adults we have
forgotten the art of
learning and instead
we focus on mistakes.
These make us fear-
ful and stop us from
being the very best
we can be.
Fear can be a good thing if it stops you
from putting yourself into harms way – no
one would put their hands in fire, because
they know they will get burnt.
But fear can also hold one back, and this
particularly has to do with the fear of
failure. How many of us have failed an
exam? How many of us attempted to write
a marketing plan and it flopped? Or tried
to play a sport and we didn’t win? Probably
all of us have experienced failure.
Our society conditions us to think that
failure is bad. What if failure is good?
What if we learn from trying things out?
There is the story of Thomas Edison who
invented the light bulb and legend has it
that he had to try for so many times before
he got it right. Then there is Jack Ma who
has been open about all the times he has
failed and look at him now. Fear of failure
is real, but what can Mary do to over come
this fear?
She could look back at her life and list
all the times she has been successful. This
will show her a trend of what she can
accomplish. Mary could reflect and build
scenarios. What is the best case outcome
and what is the worst case outcome? She
could think through how she would feel
if she achieves the best case outcome and
all the possibilities thereafter. She could
As adults we have forgotten the art of
learning and instead we focus on mistakes.
These make us fearful and stop us from
being the very best we can be.
As marketing leaders do we allow our
teams to try new things? That is the
foundation of innovation – and the buzz
word innovation is being used in all
marketing oriented organizations.
Back to Mary. She has set her goals and
reviewed them to meet the SMART
criteria. She has decided to just start and
she is dealing with the fear of failure.
Mary needs one more thing to keep her
on track. And that is resilience, also called
grit. Resilience is about the determination
to succeed no matter what the odds. To
keep going no matter what the challenges
and difficulties. Here are some tips to
build resilience.
- No matter how many times you fall,
pick yourself up and try again until you
succeed.
- Be kind to yourself and remember to
reward yourself for every single milestone
you achieve.
- Make sure you take care of yourself
well, by nourishing your body and spirit.
Exercise, eat right and give yourself
permission to build yourself spiritually as
well.
- Breathe. Yes breathe. Goodness what a
silly point you might think. We breathe
automatically and yet we do not stop and
give ourselves 5 minutes to rest and just
take in some deep breath. This is a great
stress buster and helps us get us back on
track.
- Manage your emotions. Don’t allow
disappointment to drag you down or to
cloud your judgement. Instead, accept
it as part of the process, so that you can
move on.
Have you set your objectives for this year?
Do you need help to walk on the journey?
JUST START.
I am offering a complimentary 30minutes
virtual coaching session to get you started.
All you have to do is drop me an e mail
with 3 of your goals for 2019.
Thrity Engineer- Mbuthia is a
seasoned marketing professional
who has a passion for helping others
succeed through the transformative
power of coaching. She is the first
woman in Kenya to receive the Fellow
of Chartered Institute of Marketing
credential and is also a certified
coach. You can reach her on mail at:
[email protected].