The prince is your
Child! Yes, he is NOT
your lover or your
friend or confidant!
You cannot and should
not burden this young
prince with your emo-
tional shenanigans!
This is a child for heav-
en’s sake. Keep your
emotional issues to
yourself and get an
adult that can sort you
not your young prince.
When you start dis-
cussing deep emotion-
al things with kids you
deprive them of that
freedom of great devel-
opment because they
get warped around very
deep emotional adult
issues that they may
not have the fortitude
and maturity to handle.
facing your young man is so important
in equipping you to know how you can
support him and walk with him on this
journey of life. It gives you a guide on how
to be there for him and when to back off
and allow him to be alone.
Some Pitfalls?
However as you read and you must, be
careful of some pitfalls as enumerated
here-under:
Correlation doesn’t equal causation:
Just because these outcomes are true for
some boys who grew up in single parent
household does not necessarily mean that
growing up in a single parent household
CAUSED those outcomes. Different
factors play a role e.g. socio-economic
Take the time to read and
status, mental or physical illness, poor
schools, weak support systems etc. may
research about boys
well contribute to poor outcomes, and may
Many mums have the time to go for their even be the most significant factors in how
evening classes, chamas, girl bonding the prince turns out.
sessions etc but have no time to just take
an hour or two and research and read about The studies are almost all based on family
the various challenges that their princes concepts in past generations: In most of
are facing at the various stages of their these studies, “single parent household”
development. Having an understanding of means “no involvement whatsoever by the
the various psychological and social factors father.” And that’s not necessarily the case
be too hard lined just because you are the
primary care giver. A boy’s relationship
with his father is so important that it
determines the kind of man he will develop
into.
with many families today, because kids
live with a specific parent but have shared
times with the other parent, and that
little detail makes all the difference.
No research or study can empirically
tell you what will happen with your son,
or with your family. Focus your time,
attention and efforts on helping your
prince and yourself grow, thrive and
develop and see the beauty that God
will bring out from an otherwise broken
situation.
These guidelines are in no way exhaustive
and only offer suggestions that when
incorporated with other factors help in
bringing out the best in our princes. In
everything always remember God got you
covered and you can only do so much, you
are “Super Mom”, NOT Super Woman.
Flavor Mang’ula is a Life and Leadership
coach, and very passionate about the
family. He loves cooking and enjoys
preparing gourmet meals. His mantra is
“Every Day is Day One!” You can reach
him on [email protected] and
@Ladhatamu on both Twitter and IG.