God has given you an amazing prince and out of ashes a phoenix will rise .
Never talk ill of his father whether in his presence or not
Yes you had a bitter separation and maybe the father is not even supporting the prince , however never allow yourself to start bad mouthing the father even in his absence , worse off in his presence . Remember at the end of the day that man remains the father always ! You will be eroding your self-respect in the prince ’ s eyes when you do this . And you will be brewing enormous hatred in him that you will also be a recipient of in future . Always separate your relationship with the father from the prince .
Never make him the man around the house
Yes you may want him to be the man in the house , however there is an enormous difference in being the “ Little Man ” of the house and being “ The Man ” of the house . Many moms fail in this respect because of extending too much latitude and responsibilities to children and thus expecting the world from them . In any house please understand that there are responsibilities for adults and children . Never tell him that he is mommy ’ s protector or take care of mommy etc . This is a child and therefore must be raised as such with necessary respect to where they are at in life .
He is NOT your confidante
The prince IS YOUR CHILD ! Yes , he is NOT your lover or your friend or confidant ! You cannot and should not burden this young prince with your emotional shenanigans ! This is a child for heaven ’ s sake . Keep your emotional issues to yourself and get an adult that can sort you not your young prince . When you start discussing deep emotional things with kids you deprive them of that freedom of great development because they get warped around very deep emotional adult issues that they may not have the fortitude and maturity to handle .
Yes you had a bitter separation and maybe the father is not even supporting the prince , however never allow yourself to start bad mouthing the father even in his absence , worse off in his presence . Remember at the end of the day that man remains the father always ! You will be eroding your self-respect in the prince ’ s eyes when you do this . And you will be brewing enormous hatred in him that you will also be a recipient of in future . Always separate your relationship with the father from the prince .
Keep and maintain boundaries
Respectable boundaries are important and a very healthy part of raising your prince . He should never see you naked . He should never share your bed with you . He should never use your personal bathroom if you have an ensuite . He should never go into your purse and handbag . He should never shower with you . He should never overhear your personal conversations on the phone . He should never talk back to you . And as expected you also need to maintain and respect his privacy and space as well . I could go on and on but pick what you can and run with it , you will thank me later . Always remember these young prince you give them an inch they will take the mile .
Get a Male mentor
One of the biggest mistakes that single moms make when raising boys is thinking they can and are “ mama na baba ”. You CANNOT and will never fulfill the role of a father ! Get a male mentor especially as the prince crosses over to puberty and later teenage . Your influence as a mother wanes and depletes massively at this time . The prince will need a real man to show him what real men do and how they handle issues as men . Your input if at all will be limited to what you have seen and some theory , nothing practical . A male mentor will call out the man in him and enable him to see the world in a different spectrum . They will discuss shaving , hygiene , wet dreams , and finances among many others .
Enroll him in boy extracurricular clubs
It ’ s vitally important for your young prince to mix and develop with other young men his age set . Exchanging ideas and experiences help in cognitive and social skills . Soccer , hiking , biking etc . will make him feel fulfilled as a boy . This will also help him develop physically as he uses up all that energy that ’ s locked up in his developing body . The group dynamics will also help him learn about how to be an effective member of a team and helps him in identity building and self-esteem .
Support and encourage his relationship with his father .
I will hasten to add a disclaimer here : The father should be a willing participator in the parenting journey and have positive influence otherwise a lot of what you do will be eroded . Having said that however , you cannot shield the father from seeing his son unless of course he is abusive . So even if he is in prison , facilitate their meeting at the earliest convenience . This makes you earn loads of respect with your prince . Sharing time with both of you is very important to the young prince , don ’ t
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