rescue us. Keep professional distance and
respect the various boundaries that are set
whether they are stated or not.
Our hearts are built to secure and keep
memories for quite a long time and it has
no apologies or explanations no alarms
when it decides to play these memories
out.
Rozzie had a lot going for her, she had
just got an amazing new gig as a brand
ambassador and with it a brand new
relationship. Draffy was six years her
senior and a very focused man with a clear
vision for their relationship and this had
totally settled Rozzie. They had met at
one of her events and they immediately
took to each other. She had just ended
a 4 year relationship with Warren and
had been single for 14 months. She was
over him, or so she believed. Draffy was a
meticulous man and his dogged resilience
and approach to life was admirable. Rozzie
couldn’t have asked for a better man.
One evening during her usual work, she
bumped into Warren. It was a bit awkward
but they exchanged pleasantries and since
Draffy was working late that night, she
decided to have dinner with Warren
as a friend. He eventually dropped her
home. They started chatting soon after
on WhatsApp. What started as a ‘thank
you for a great evening’ soon degenerated
into ‘you still look amazingly hot’ within
twenty minutes they ditched the texting
and called each other.
And it was going south very fast, Warren
was already suggesting that he turns
around and comes back, and she wasn’t
very averse to the idea. What really
saved the day was Draffy. He walked in
from work and she disconnected her call
running to hug him so hard.
She was on the precipice of disaster, she
had allowed buried feelings to come to the
fore and she was responding to them. She
almost crossed the “Point of Wololo”. She
immediately blocked Warren’s number
and decided she wanted nothing to do
with that again. She wasn’t going to let her
past interfere with her present and future.
Here many of us find themselves. Our
former lovers hold very critical keys to our
hearts and if we give them access wantonly
they will walk in and damage your present
lives. Let’s not get it twisted, we are as
vulnerable as they come and keeping our
past where it belongs is as important as
your current relationship. Respect it and
give yourself 100% or quit.
44 MAL22/18 ISSUE
Stressful Lifestyles
With the demands of modern living,
marriages,
kids,
demanding
jobs,
professional associations, religious groups
etc. sometimes we will find ourselves
high strung and needing a very necessary
release. If you don’t have a structured and
deliberate method then you are a recipe
for disaster.
Teni had 3 grown teenage kids and
had been married 17 years. She was a
gentle soul with a big heart yet very
accomplished. She was a medical doctor
specialized in pediatrics. She worked long
hours and her work gave her joy. She was
chief of her unit and held a position on
the medical board as well. Collectively she
rarely had time for anything and slowly
they had sort of drifted apart with Konde
her husband. He was a loving man who
ran his own practice as well but their
individual unsynchronized lives were
taking a toll and they hardly got intimate
or did things together.
So when Eli moved in next door to them
and he was a single flamboyant marketing
executive with an international oil
company, the die was cast. He intentionally
marked Teni’s habits and movements. He
was going for the jugular. He ensured that
they met at the parking and bumped into
each other in the stairways on a regular
basis. He was calculating and it seemed
like he sensed the void that was existing
in Teni’s heart.
One day he invited her for a drink at
his place as she arrived home late from
a surgery. He had prepared dinner and
offered her a warm plate of grilled
marinated chicken and mixed vegetables.
She hadn’t eaten all day and she consumed
it with reckless abandon. He then poured
her a nice red wine, put some cool jazz
and came sat next to her. It was basically
a wrap.
They crossed the line that night and it
became a habit. They kept at it for over
8 months and soon Konde got wind of
the affair. Suffice it to say, he filed for
divorce without a second breath on the
matter. Teni lost both ways because Eli
moved out immediately he realized he
had been busted and was soon seen in
the arms of a diva. She had ignored the
“Point of Wololo” and it cost her dearly;
her marriage was no more!
We many times find the stresses of life
making us very vulnerable and lowering
our boundary lines or blurring our beliefs
and tenets. It’s at these moments that we
need to run back to our default settings.
Like it or not when we are stressed we
send out non-verbal signals that can and
will be preyed upon.
Social Media
If there is a monster that we created and
that will eat us alive is social media. Used
strategically though it can be an amazing
tool. However many of us have taken it
so literally yet there is nothing social
about it. It has broken more homes than
we realize and continues to consume our
younger generations alive.
Obed was one of the most amazing men
around. He was a committed elder at his
local church, full of life and served in the
Sunday school faithfully every Sunday. He
was married to Kacey and together they
had 2 awesome daughters who were twins.
Obed was active on social media especially
Instagram which was predominantly a
picture sharing application. He shared his
life liberally and had a massive following.
One day he received a DM which means
Direct Message, and it was a cute lady
who just said ‘Hi’ her name was Alexie. He
responded and they got chatting, soon he
invited her to church. Everything looked
okay at all levels. But they continued
sharing on social media and soon they
started exchanging nudes. One thing
led to another and it wasn’t long before
they crossed the border and were having
a steamy affair. They both knew it was
wrong but they justified it every time.
It was a secret until he started falling
sick regularly. He got worried and after
a period decided to take a full physical
examination. The results jolted him
completely. He was HIV positive! He
approached Alexie and she didn’t appear
shocked or moved. They had decided to
throw caution to the wind after a month
of being together and decided no more
condoms. What a disaster!
Apparently Alexie told him that she was
infected and it was her life’s mission to
spread the disease to any man she met
who wanted her. Well Obed had obviously
crossed the “Point of Wololo” ages ago. He
was unable to process the news and ended
up committing suicide. Luckily the wife
was not infected.
Not everyone we meet on social media is
our Friend. Many are lurking out there
in cyber space with vendettas that can