FAMILY MATTERS
FAMILY MATTERS
Fatal Attractions
By Flavor Mang ’ ula
In today ’ s world , we have to be cognizant of the various spaces that we operate in and respect the fact that we are as human as they come . And that failing in our responsibilities in relationships is REAL and can and will happen to the best of us ! Nobody is immune .
The stimuli that exists in our environments is at an all-time high and it takes much more than integrity to keep our valuable relationships kosher . I hear many people say that they cannot fall into the various pitfalls that litter our daily lives however , if an audit was to be done the kind of results we would get would shock us to kingdom come .
It ’ s important to accept that we can and will fall once in a while , however some stumbles can be avoided . There is a point we reach in relating to the opposite sex that is not our significant other that we “ KNOW ” any further , this will go south , yet we trudge on either tempting fate or thinking we are strong enough to retreat . That point is what I call the “ Point of Wololo !”
It is the point that you have to make a judgement call . It ’ s the point that if you proceed it ’ s a wrap you are over . And also it ’ s the point that if you halt and retreat you will save your relationship which could be a marriage .
How do we get ourselves in some of these tricky sticky ‘ situation-ships ’? Let ’ s paint some scenarios that actually are very real and poignant in our daily lives .
The Workplace Den
We spend most of our waking moments at our various places of occupation , and it ’ s
We many times find the stresses of life making us very vulnerable and lowering our boundary lines or blurring our beliefs and tenets . It ’ s at these moments that we need to run back to our default settings . Like it or not when we are stressed we send out non-verbal signals that can and will be preyed upon . inevitable that we will develop some rich and deep relationships with either gender .
Clancy had been married for 7 years and had 2 kids . He was actually happily married and they had an amazing relationship with his wife . But when he got his latest job , his on-boarding buddy was Jenny . She was a vivacious lady , single and extremely outgoing . She had a great heart and very helpful in showing Clancy the ropes . He was equally a quick learner and they shared lunch together always and bonded extremely deeply .
Before long they extended their ‘ friendship ’ beyond the office and of course one thing led to the other , he visited her at her place and before they could say KDF they were neck deep in a torrid affair that even spilled to their work place . Clancy ’ s wife of course got wind of the affair and suffice it to say their marriage was on the rocks . The signs were there , the connection was there but Clancy and Jenny ignored all the signs and they inevitably had crossed the “ Point of Wololo ”.
Many of us are very familiar with this scenario and its very near home . We need to respect and appreciate at the same time that we are vulnerable and that if we open our hearts to the opposite sex in ways that will encourage the sprouting of feelings that are strictly meant to be someone else ’ s , then no amount of strength can
42 MAL22 / 18 ISSUE