of anger at this point can help avoid
anger escalating to higher levels.
The second level is annoyance where
anger increases but one remains in
control. Physical reactions at this
point include tense muscles, racing
heartbeat and heavy breathing. Like
with irritation, it is easier to diffuse
and redirect anger at this point
before losing your temper.
Mild anger is the third level and this
occurs when one loses their temper.
Mild anger includes shouting,
rudeness, sarcasm and gesturing.
One desires to act aggressively and
may slam doors or bang surfaces
such as desks, steering wheels
or counters. Body language also
becomes aggressive such as hands
on hips, pointing fingers and jutting
jaws.
The fourth and final level is extreme
anger, which can be dangerous.
Research indicates that only 10%
of anger experiences are followed
by aggression, which is defined as
behavior with intent to harm.
People with this type of anger can
experience dizziness, blankness
and some even cry before reacting
aggressively.
This includes violent behavior
such as breaking property, pushing,
beating, cutting, stabbing, shooting
and can result in maiming, death and
problems with the law.
Extreme or dangerous anger is not
normal, but we sometimes accept it
because of unhelpful beliefs such as:
It’s just the way I am; Anger runs
in the family – we can’t control it; I
must show that I am angry or people
will take advantage of me;
They deserve it – they should not
have spoken to me that way; People
fear me when I get angry – I control
them and get what I want that way;
76 MAL 11/16 ISSUE
‘‘If you feel that you
can’t control yourself
to effectively deal
with the situation at
the moment, remove
yourself from the
situation. This is not
a sign of weakness,
but you deciding
to take time out for
the time being. You
could go for a walk,
listen to music, read
a book, exercise or
go somewhere you
can relax till you are
calm and ready to
deal with the situation
in a calm, objective
manner.’’
Losing my temper helps me deal
with anxiety and fear.
This is unwholesome thinking that
keeps you from controlling your
anger.
Longer Term Effects of Anger
While constructive anger can be
beneficial and bring about positive
change, frequent anger does not.
According to the Controlling
Anger article, Effects of frequent
anger include heart disease, high
blood pressure, risk of heart attacks,
hyperacidity, ulcers, abdominal
problems, anxiety, shame, guilt,
insomnia, damaged relationships,
hatred and rejection leading to
regret, depression and loneliness.
Manage Anger!
Anger can be destructive and dealing
with it is an advantage to you. It
takes self control – indeed as the
book of Proverbs says that he that
has no rule over his own spirit is
like a city that is broken down, and
without walls.
We have all experienced the
shakiness, shame and embarrassment
that comes after losing your temper
– we also know the triumph of
maintaining your cool when angry.
While not running away from anger,
we need to develop healthy ways of
dealing with situations that trigger
anger in your life. Consider the
following:
Decide: Decide that you are going
to deal with anger.
Awareness: How do you see
yourself ? Do you value and esteem
yourself ? Learn to love and value
yourself. Watch what you say to
yourself (self-talk).
Also become aware of what triggers
angry reactions in you and what
happens to you and others when
you are angry. Many of us resp ond
angrily when tired or stressed. Note
situations when you respond angrily.
Pay attention to your thoughts,
feelings and actions as well as the
early signs of anger such as changing
breathing patterns clenching your
fist, drumming surfaces with your
fingers, tightening the lips, grinding
your teeth, or blinking rapidly.
When you notice yourself doing
these things, diffuse the angry
reaction by doing the opposite.
Choose your battles: You do not have
to lose your temper every time you
get angry! Ask yourself if this is worth
fighting for and decide to deal with
the situation calmly rather than hotly.