LEADING YOU
WHEN YOU SEE RED:
Understanding And
Taming Anger
By Caroline Mwazi
W
hen was the last time you
blew your top? No, I’m
not talking about getting
irritated and when that crazy driver
cut in front of you at the roundabout.
I am talking about all out anger
- steam coming out of your ears,
prominent vein on your forehead,
bul ging eyes, rigid body full, throttle
rage. What made you so angry?
Anger is an emotion we all
experience. It arises out of frustration
that things are not going the way we
want. This includes being blocked
from doing what you want, going
where you want to go, achieving
‘‘You do not have
to lose your temper
every time you get
angry! Ask yourself if
this is worth fighting
for and decide to deal
with the situation
calmly rather than
hotly.’’
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desired results, not being listened to
or being put down.
According to the National Health
Services of the UK publication
Controlling Anger, anger can be
external or internal. External anger
arises out of things that happen
outside us such as misunderstandings
between friends and family and
incidences at work, or in traffic, while
internal anger arises from stress and
anxiety among other sources.
Factors influencing our anger
responses include personality –
some of us are calm and in control
while others are active, fast and
impatient. Other influences include
pressure, anxiety, tension, illness, life
experiences and family background.
Research also reveals that video
games, violent, aggressive music
and films can lead to violent angry
behavior.
Constructive and Destructive
Anger
Many people feel that anger should
be avoided altogether, but we need
to accept it as part of the human
existence. It can be constructive if it
is mild, occasional, quickly dissipates,
and is expressed in an assertive way
(clear, direct without accusations
or fighting). This relates to good
anger such as anger at injustice or
oppression.
Such anger, when expressed
appropriately, communicates that
something is important to us. It can
also help motivate children behave
well and understand boundaries
which can save them from accidents
and harm.
On the other hand anger can be
destructive when it is intense,
frequent and leads you to act
aggressively including verbally
abusing people, fighting them or
hitting and breaking property.
Destructive anger often leads to
rejection, broken relationships,
damaged property, personal injury,
death and problems with the law.
Levels of Anger
Anger is progressive and has been
found to have several levels. Irritation
is the first level and involves angry
thoughts. Awareness and diffusion