Turning 40.
"So I am turning 40 tomorrow, I can hear half of you gasping with
sympathy and the other half of you saying yippee girlfriend you are
about to have ten years of sexiness.
The truth is I am terrified, not of facing a decade of sexiness; oh I
will gladly embrace that. It’s the self founded pressure of looking
at the rows of body con dresses I have collected in the last year due
to all the magazine trends that previously made me look bootylicious
that now honestly makes me look like a woman about to give
birth and let’s not even discuss the breasts that after 6 children are
now tingling my toes if the eBay wonder bra is in the wash basket!
The continual attempts of murder I have tried for the last 6 months
with a breast hair that has magical powers, one minute it's gone and within 28 days it re-appears. The shock of finding grey hairs on my body that now is in an Olympic race to beat the amount on my head.
I even considered getting breast implants until I woke up in sweat the other night from a nightmare where I was old and wrinkled all over but had a pair or 38 Double D footballs sticking out from me.
I find myself instead of watching Victoria Secrets annual event on SKY, I am now staring for hours at American adverts of ageing cream solutions and fighting my inner self not to buy the special offers.
I have over 250 pairs of high heels that I remember running for the bus in my younger days, now they kill toes if I go out for an hour and I have to do a walk that is between a waddling duck and Clint Eastwood. No wonder people are looking at me with an unusual look on their faces.
So in essence I am scared of the big 40 and it is a realisation that I have to adjust to the changes my body needs and this makes me feel old, the years have gone so fast and even though I have no regrets, it still hits home that I am nearer my retirement age than ever before and living life the way you want to is even more valuable.
I feel sexy and have somehow managed to hypnotise a toy boy to fall in love with me, I am healthy, intelligent and not bad looking and compared to real issues in life, I have so much to celebrate tomorrow about the achievements I have made in the 40 years I have been on this earth.
So with these last thoughts, I am going to party tomorrow like it is 1999 and embrace the excitement of being deemed sexy for the next decade and carry my alias name Cougar with pride.
Cheers to me and all the other women who are turning 40 this year, may our sexiness light up the town :)
''What's Ticking''
by Michele McClarren