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I wish she could come once a week, so I could get better faster, but there are many children with polio. I cannot go upstairs on my own, so they have to get the Minister to carry me upstairs. I was brought up to my bed, I have to start at school soon. I will be quite embarrassed when I have to go back to school, considering I haven't been to school in three years, and I only did a few studies this year with Sister Elizabeth. How will I not fall behind and get on tests? It's going to be really hard. School used to be fun, back when I had friends.
I pulled out one of my math books, and I swear every time I look at them they get more complicated. I was good in math the first year I was in school. But ever since I got polio, a lot has changed, including my study skills. I have so many things I want for school, such as a nice dress and a pair of stockings. But I can't wear stockings and a dress because it makes it hard to walk, and stockings wont fit over top of my splints. So now I have to wear overalls. As if being orphaned wasnt hard enough, now I even look poor! Honestly, now that I think about it, my appearance is the least of my concerns.
My concerns should be how good can I walk. Because words can be nasty to hear, but honestly, what they do is worse. The truth is, life is hard, and if it was easy I probably wouldn't be here. I would be at home with my mother. I would have already sewn a new dress. But what are the chances of that ever happening again. Zero percent. In fact the chances of anyone getting an adopted is low, unless they are a baby or a home child. I put my diary under my mattress, so no one could find it. I am tired so I am going to go to sleep.
It is Monday. The new girl is here. She came from Austin. Apparently her father died in war and her mother died because of polio. So now she is here. They put her bed right next to mine. She is two years younger than me, but she is taller than me. I know now that she is going to get eaten alive by the other girls. I know this sounds selfish, but maybe the other girls will be distracted by her, and maybe instead of tormenting me, they will torment her. It is selfish but I just don't want to be tormented anymore. Today, they put a frog in her soup. She screamed. She even pushed her bowl over and it spilt everywhere. Mother Superior was right there and grabbed her by her ear and dragged her into her office. The other girls giggled to each other.
I wonder what kind of cruel punishment Mother Superior has planned for her. Sister Elizabeth let me outside today. The pig was still there. I sat down with the pig and gave it some of my leftover lunch. The pig sat on my knee. And the pig was surprisingly sweet. I picked her up and hid her in one of our sheds. I am going to come back tomorrow and see her. Luckily, Sister Elizabeth likes to give me some time by myself outside. I go in the distance where she can see me, but not too much. After I put the pig in the shed, I tried to walk up the stairs and it was hard. Each step felt very wobbly, but within the next step I lost my balance and fell. While I got up, my body throbbed. I tried to get upstairs as quickly as I could.
It is Monday. The new girl is here. She came from Austin. Apparently her father died in war and her mother died because of polio. So now she is here. They put her bed right next to mine. She is two years younger than me, but she is taller than me. I know now that she is going to get eaten alive by the other girls. I know this sounds selfish, but maybe the other girls will be distracted by her, and maybe instead of tormenting me, they will torment her. It is selfish but I just don't want to be tormented anymore. Today, they put a frog in her soup. She screamed. She even pushed her bowl over and it spilt everywhere. Mother Superior was right there and grabbed her by her ear and dragged her into her office. The other girls giggled to each other. I wonder what kind of cruel punishment Mother Superior has planned for her. Sister Elizabeth let me outside today. The pig was still there. I sat down with the pig and gave it some of my leftover lunch. The pig sat on my knee. And the pig was surprisingly sweet. And the pig was surprisingly sweet. I picked her up and hid her in one of our sheds. I am going to come back tomorrow and see her.