Stanich
15
The Phantom Menace (Episode 1):
Qui-Gonn Jin and Obi-Wan travel to Naboo to escort Princess Amadala to Coruscant to discuss the invading Trade Federation. This movie sucks because it confuses funny with annoying. Jar-Jar Binks is a reptile-fish thingy that talks in a made-up Gungan language and is super clumsy. Sounds great, right? No.
The Clone Wars (Episode 2):
Obi-Wan goes to a clone factory where he almost gets killed by Jango Fett before travelling to Geonosis to battle the droid army where Count Dooku discusses blueprints for a mega superweapon. This movie sucks because of Anakin’s teen phase. “I can’t control myself! I killed them all! Even the women and the children.” That is literally my reaction to the movie.
Revenge of the Sith (Episode 3):
Anakin falls in love with Amadala, but his love messes up his judgement and he gives into anger and hatred and falls to the dark side where he becomes a serial killer and then he gets badly wounded and gets a black face mask put on him and becomes Darth Vader. This movie is okay because Anakin is still annoying, but the movie makes up for his teen phase by adding action in the plot.
A New Hope (Episode 4):
“Ben” Kenobi trains Luke Skywalker to be a jedi so he can defeat his evil father and save the galaxy. Luke succeeds, destroying the megaweapon knows as the Death Star, but the empire is far from gone. This movie is awesome because of the lightsaber action! WOOSH! ZING! *Sparks fly everywhere* And who doesn’t enjoy watching Darth Vader in his prime.
The Empire Strikes Back (Episode 5):
Luke Skywalker goes to Dagobah to complete his training with Yoda. Meanwhile, Han Solo is unable to hold up the rebel fortress on Hoth. He leaves for Cloud City to meet up with his old friend Lando. But he gets ambushed by Darth Vader and frozen in carbonite and sold to Jabba the Hutt. This movie is awesome because it is everything a good movie should be. It has action, it has romance, it has a son fighting his father and it has suspense.
Return of the Jedi (Episode 6):
Luke Skywalker rescues Han Solo from Tattoine, and Han Solo gets together an attack force to destroy the new Death Star and Luke saves Darth Vader from the dark side before he dies. This movie is awesome because it makes you believe that the franchise has come full circle, but then surprises you 2 decades later.
The Force Awakens (Episode 7):
Kylo Ren builds a superweapon into a PLANET! The rebels destroy the weapon, but Kylo Ren is an angry guy. He kills Han Solo and Star Wars will no longer be cool. Just kidding.
Star Wars Rogue One (Episode 3.5):
I’m going to be that one person that says the opposite of what everyone else says and say I did not like the trailer for Rogue One. First, I have concerns about the lack of plot. The trailer that we saw was about 20% plot. I know it’s just the trailers, but I hope we see more plot in the actual movie. Second, I feel like we’ve seen this all before. A big huge imperial ship that’s about to destroy everyone? We’ve got you covered! A giant metallic death ball that destroys planets? We’ve got you covered. Tedious scenes in which some Jedi and his padawan destroy droids with little or no difficulty? We’ve got you covered!
Third, I would like to address the continuity error with the Death Star. In case you didn’t know, Rogue One is basically Star Wars Episode 3.5. So this would be around the time the Death Star was being constructed. Although we only get a glance of the side, it appears much bigger than the Death Star in Episode 4. Overall, I would give this trailer a 4/10.
Star Wars...
A word from Mr. Noah Stanich:
My name is Noah Stanich and I love writing. Because it allows me to share my ideas and thoughts with the world. I love to write science fiction. You know, because it has lasers, robots, aliens and time travel stuff. Cool stuff. I like fancy fonts. I am inspiried by JK Rowling, I first discovered her work three years ago!