Julie Lythcott-Haims comes from humble beginnings. Currently living in San Francisco, California, she carries high honors from Stanford University and Harvard. After discovering law was not for her anymore, Haims decided that it was time for a change. She received her MFA at California College of the Arts, which fueled the fire of her journey as a writer. Luxe Kurves considers Haims to be a real Luxe woman who not only empowered herself, but also those around her with her writing. Her memoir, Real American, is a raw, edgy autobiographical piece that examines race in America from the perspective of a multiracial woman.
What made you decide to write Real American: A Memoir?
To paraphrase Maya Angelou, "the pain of keeping it inside was greater than the pain of sharing it."
Did you expect such a response to your works?
Hardly. For most of my life I was told that my writing wasn't very good (note: the people saying so were mentors, and they were right). Starting in law school, I made a concerted effort to improve my written communication. I did so by becoming a close reader, which over the years and decades improved not only my reading skills but my writing. Once I began reading poetry for pleasure, I began to hear my own voice, and I gave myself permission to infuse that voice into my prose. All that said, I've only recently claimed the identity "writer." If you were to go back even just five years and tell me I was about to be a bestselling author of non-fiction, I would have laughed in your face.
You use the term "Real American" to represent white men and women who want to "make American great again." What do you define as a "Real American"?
Actually, I use that term in a bunch of different ways throughout the book. Yes, I start by throwing it back in the faces of white men and women (notably, politicians on the right) who use that term to create a group that excludes many of us. But I also use the term to honor my slave ancestor, Sylvie, to whom the book is dedicated, who lived in Charleston, SC as America was becoming America, who was raped by her owner, and considered only 3/5 of a human, but who made me a Real American. This is why the book bears that title. In our present national discourse, "Real American" is a label that serves to divide rather than unite. But as long as folks are trying to divide us with it, I'm going to reclaim it for all of us.
When it comes to the idea of "the Other," do you believe there are levels of "otherness"? If so, where would African Americans on fall on the scale?
For sure. There's the skin color scale, where the darker we are, the more "other" we are. There's the socio economic scale, where the poorer we are, the more "other" we are. Put those two together, and many African Americans become the greatest "others" in America, the farthest from whiteness (which is skin color, status, privilege, access to opportunity, etc.) When I post something on social media about what Black folk experience, I'm struck how a lot of "others" (i.e. other POC; Muslims; queer folk) are quick to say "Us Too! Us Too!"
Beyond The Page
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By Alyssa Nand