are better off married than single , but most times have only their wife as their most relevant contact , and benefit from her network . If she predeceases him , he loses that support , and he is more likely to die , and sooner . Men in our society rarely increase their social circles after they reach adulthood . Living alone is a huge risk factor for a shorter life .
Pinker outlines a number of principles for making a “ village ” in our current society , so we can take advantage of the benefits :
Principle 1 : Live in a community where you know and talk to your neighbors .
Principle 2 : Build real human contact into your workday . Save email for logistics . Use phone or face time for more nuanced interaction .
Principle 3 : Create a village of diverse relationships . Build in social contact with members of this “ village ” the way you work in meals and exercise .
Principle 4 : Everyone needs close human contact . Adjust the ratio of your face-to-face to screen communication according to your temperament , just as you adjust how much and what you eat according to your appetite .
Principle 5 : Make parent , teacher and peer interaction the priority for preschoolers and young children . Combine live teaching with online tools for older children and teens .
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Principle 6 : As more of our interactions migrate to digital platforms , face-to-face contact in education , medicine (!), and child care has become a luxury commodity . As a fundamental human need , it should remain accessible to all .
( This last principle hit home a few weeks ago , when the greeter at one of the hospitals tried to get me to “ sign in ” on a computer screen when I went in for tests . Another attempt to cancel the soul , and personal connection to medicine that used to define these institutions .)
I found the book surprisingly readable . Maybe it ’ s because I have a background in psychology and social work , but I think it also confirmed what I already knew from being part of a “ village .” To recapture that environment , we have downsized from a subdivision with no sidewalks and few visible “ neighbors .” We are now part of a New Urbanist community ( Norton Commons ) where it is walkable , much more socially active , and has a better chance to enlarge and cultivate a “ village ” for the future . We are betting our lives on it .
Dr . Rigby works as a consultant / contract medical examiner for Kentucky Retirement Systems , and also for ACOG ' s Safety Certification in Outpatient Excellence in Women ' s Health program .
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