Wo-oah wo-o-oooo-oah wo-o-o-oah wo-o-oah...
Wo-oah wo-o-oooo-oah-"
BAM.
The lights suddenly shut off completely, and everyone went beserk. The screams were amazingly ear-splitting. then this timeline going backwards of Dan and Phil's videos start playing along to this awesome track playing, which you couldn't hear sometimes because of the screaming.
After that, the giant microwave kind of lit up and made noises like static.
Then, room filled with a beautiful glowing aura(ok, maybe it was spotlights), and out stepped....
SMOL BEAN AND TALL MEME THEMSELVES.
DAN. AND. PHIL.
At this point there is no hope for salvaging your ears or windpipe or ovaries.
Anyways, they said hi, and we met the Llama and Lion. Apparently Phil microwaved his laptop because of the short battery life and caused everything in it to pop out, as well as destroying the internet???
Anyways, Phil's singing was rejected, and then came...
THE 7 SECOND CHALLENGES
The highlight of our 7 Second Challenges was Phil's third one, which was "Dab fifteen times". Yeah, they really need to work on their dabbing. That can be viewed here: https://twitter.com/laurenkaite/status/745867522747043840?s=09
After that was The Amazing Phil's magic tricks!
My favorite was probably the bowling ball coming out of the sketchbook. Then Dan's legs got switched with a llama's legs!!
Dan disappeared for awhile. Phil took that to his advantage and went over some of his Reasons Why He Was A Weird Child!
Later Dan came back out and lectured Phil about performing magic tricks. Talk about a Party Pooper. Then they discussed some of he audience's reasons. For us, the one that got five weirdness stars was a girl who pretended she was a doctor and inject people's arms with pencil lead.
Then came Dan's Internet Support Group, in which they played recordings of some of the audience's problems over the speakers. Dan named his llama Larry, and got his usual drink that he drinks during Internet Support Group....oh, wait. This one is.....non-alcoholic grape juice?????
Nope, Dan can't do this.
Our problems were as followed.
What do you want to ask your ol'....Uncle Dan????
1.One girl worships Shrek, but her parents won't accept her religion.
Dan's solution: Just deal with it. He is our green lord and savior. "Shrek is love, Shrek is life."
2. "I have one type of shirt and it's all I wear, please help."
Dan's Solution: What's the only colour that will never do you wrong?
Audience: BLACK!
Dan: Guys, I'm so proud of you!! Just wear black all of the time, it doesn't matter if it's the same shirt. And if it gets hot in the summer, just don't go outside!
3. "All my friends have left me because I watch too much anime. Please help."
Dan's Solution: That's the problem with having friends! You just have to accept that you're weeb trash.
(This is the point at which he names Larry the Llama and receives his drink.)
4. "How do I avoid saying the most awkward thing at the most awkward time and coming off as an idiot?"
Dan's Solution: Start off all introductions with a pun! The person either walks away and you know where you stand, or you've got a new best friend!!! ;)
5. "I don't know how to invite a boy to a dance. Give me advice on how to ask a boy out!"
Dan's Solution: Real boys might hurt your feelings-just date fictional guys like Evan Peters from American Horror Story!
6. "My daughters spend all their time on Youtube watching you(Dan) and Phil."
Dan's Solution: *flirts with all of the mums in the room" You have nothing to worry about! Me and Phil are TOTES educational!! GUYS DON'T TELL THEM ANYTHING!
7. "_JOHN CENA!!!!!_"
Dan's Solution: ...
8. "Never gonna give you up, ever gonna let you down..."
Dan's Solution: Wow, you guys all just troll me, don't you? I mean, I lvoe my audience!
After that was Crafty Corner. Phil came out with his trolley(in a West Coast Accent-Dan: "Shopping Cart"), which had a huge lit-up "P" on the front, and was blue and fit his sunny personality, and Dan got his, which was plain and black with "huge "D" on the front"(Dan: Woahhh didn't mean it like that).
There was Melapples, Dan and Phil as dogs, Dan and Phil as Undertale characters/Toto, a melting crayon drawing of cat whiskers with a whisk on the back(Dan freaked out), a rare Dan Pepe, and many others, as well as the pop-up Phan art book!!(Blughh no thanks)!
After Dan and Phil went into a time machine thing and got seventy-five years older. Phil died, but Dan brought him back into the magic gigantic microwave, and they became present-day Dan and Phil again. Poor Dan had an existential crisis, but Phil convinced him(mostly) by saying that entertaining us was a distraction from the fact that death was inevitable and that Dan didn't want his future to be the same is his life now. Then it was acting out fanfiction time.
Dan and Phil were cowboys who went camping. Dan got a torch(flashlight) and HE SHINED IT ON ME! AHHH! HE SMILED AT ME(ALTHOUGH HE WAS JUST SMILING AT EVERYONE THE TORCH FELL ON)!!!!
Then Phil drew Dan like a french girl(basically a rectangle with sticks sticking out). They threw paper plates out into the audience, and Dil taught them a lesson-WE care about Dan's videos and him, and Phil doesn't have to change to be good enough for anybody-being himself is why we love him.
Then Phil got his lifelong wish-try new things, like LessAmazingPhil would say! Make the most of the destroyed internet-by singing!!!
He started singing, and Dan finally agreed to let him...and join him! So they went behind stage and came back in golden jackets and top hats and batons.....and sang how great the internet is. As the grand finale, they took off their hats and ended their musical number in a shower of glitter from their top hats! Then they said good-bye and went back into the microwave, which was now showing a glittery golden background, and waved good-bye. The show ended with "The End" appearing on the golden background. Then immediately "All-Star" started playing.
Review: The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire is truly amazing! I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't watch their videos, as they wouldn't understand, but either way it was the best night of my life(not day-that would be January 1st, 2015). It's coming out on Youtube Red, so wait until it comes out and us your free 30 day trial(#unintentionalsponagain). Thanks for reading!
Stay classy, Danosaurs(and Phillions), and DFTBA(out of context).
Wow
Much Amazing
Very Not On Fire
And remember kids, don't cry-
CRAFT!
accept her religion.
Dan's solution: Just deal with it. He is our green lord and savior. "Shrek is love, Shrek is life."
2. "I have one type of shirt and it's all I wear, please help."
Dan's Solution: What's the only colour that will never do you wrong?
Audience: BLACK!
Dan: Guys, I'm so proud of you!! Just wear black all of the time, it doesn't matter if it's the same shirt. And if it gets hot in the summer, just don't go outside!
3. "All my friends have left me because I watch too much anime. Please help."
Dan's Solution: That's the problem with having friends! You just have to accept that you're weeb trash.
(This is the point at which he names Larry the Llama and receives his drink.)
4. "How do I avoid saying the most awkward thing at the most awkward time and coming off as an idiot?"
Dan's Solution: Start off all introductions with a pun! The person either walks away and you know where you stand, or you've got a new best friend!!! ;)
5. "I don't know how to invite a boy to a dance. Give me advice on how to ask a boy out!"
Dan's Solution: Real boys might hurt your feelings-just date fictional guys like Evan Peters from American Horror Story!
6. "My daughters spend all their time on Youtube watching you(Dan) and Phil."
Dan's Solution: *flirts with all of the mums in the room" You have nothing to worry about! Me and Phil are TOTES educational!! GUYS DON'T TELL THEM ANYTHING!
7. "_JOHN CENA!!!!!_"
Dan's Solution: ...
8. "Never gonna give you up, ever gonna let you down..."
Dan's Solution: Wow, you guys all just troll me, don't you? I mean, I lvoe my audience!
After that was Crafty Corner. Phil came out with his trolley(in a West Coast Accent-Dan: "Shopping Cart"), which had a huge lit-up "P" on the front, and was blue and fit his sunny personality, and Dan got his, which was plain and black with "huge "D" on the front"(Dan: Woahhh didn't mean it like that).
There was Melapples, Dan and Phil as dogs, Dan and Phil as Undertale characters/Toto, a melting crayon drawing of cat whiskers with a whisk on the back(Dan freaked out), a rare Dan Pepe, and many others, as well as the pop-up Phan art book!!(Blughh no thanks)!
After Dan and Phil went into a time machine thing and got seventy-five years older. Phil died, but Dan brought him back into the magic gigantic microwave, and they became present-day Dan and Phil again. Poor Dan had an existential crisis, but Phil convinced him(mostly) by saying that entertaining us was a distraction from the fact that death was inevitable and that Dan didn't want his future to be the same is his life now. Then it was acting out fanfiction time.
Dan and Phil were cowboys who went camping. Dan got a torch(flashlight) and HE SHINED IT ON ME! AHHH! HE SMILED AT ME(ALTHOUGH HE WAS JUST SMILING AT EVERYONE THE TORCH FELL ON)!!!!
Then Phil drew Dan like a french girl(basically a rectangle with sticks sticking out). They threw paper plates out into the audience, and Dil taught them a lesson-WE care about Dan's videos and him, and Phil doesn't have to change to be good enough for anybody-being himself is why we love him.
Then Phil got his lifelong wish-try new things, like LessAmazingPhil would say! Make the most of the destroyed internet-by singing!!!
He started singing, and Dan finally agreed to let him...and join him! So they went behind stage and came back in golden jackets and top hats and batons.....and sang how great the internet is. As the grand finale, they took off their hats and ended their musical number in a shower of glitter from their top hats! Then they said good-bye and went back into the microwave, which was now showing a glittery golden background, and waved good-bye. The show ended with "The End" appearing on the golden background. Then immediately "All-Star" started playing.
Review: The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire is truly amazing! I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't watch their videos, as they wouldn't understand, but either way it was the best night of my life(not day-that would be January 1st, 2015). It's coming out on Youtube Red, so wait until it comes out and us your free 30 day trial(#unintentionalsponagain). Thanks for reading!
Stay classy, Danosaurs(and Phillions), and DFTBA(out of context).
Wow
Much Amazing
Very Not On Fire
And remember kids, don't cry-
CRAFT!
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