GIVING. PRAYING. FASTING
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Israel’s trial proved to be extremely difficult for Johnson-Roy. She told
herself that she had forgiven Israel. She told the court that she had
forgiven Israel. She told his mother she had forgiven him but that was
far from the truth. Her grief, anger, bitterness, and sadness morphed
into one word. Hate.
“I hated O’Shea. I wanted him to be charged with first-degree murder.
I saw him and viewed him as an animal. I felt that he deserved to be
caged and [to] never ever get out of that cage. Never ever be able to
step on the piece of ground that I would step on and even though I was
a Christian woman, that’s exactly what I wanted for him and I had a
whole ‘lotta hate for him,” said Johnson-Roy.
The Poem and the Calling
One day, Johnson-Roy came face-to-face with her rage when she
read a poem called “Two Mothers.” The poem is about two mothers
grieving the loss of their sons in heaven. As one mother describes her
son, the other mother recognizes that the woman speaking is actually
Mary, the mother of Christ, and bends on one knee in humility. Mary
lifts her up and kisses the tears from her face and asks the other mother
who her son is. The other mother replies that her son is Judas Iscariot
and the poem abruptly ends.
“I read it [the poem] again and this time I heard within myself, ‘I [God]
want mothers of murdered children and mothers of children who have
taken life to come together and heal together and I thought, ‘No way,
uh uh. I’m not doing that. I don’t want to be involved in that. I don’t
want to be involved with the mother of a child who has taken life.’ But,
over the years, I just kept hearing, ‘This is what you’re to do. This is
what you are to do,’ ” said Johnson. “So, I finally said if I’m going to do
that, I need to go and meet O’shea. And I thought if I have been set
free from all the bitterness and hatred-I knew I needed to be. I had to
be set free in order to deal with mothers on the other side of the fence.”
The Journey to Forgiveness
The journey to forgiveness and willingness to accept the call to help
others took some time for Johnson-Roy. Twelve years to be exact. She
said God walked her through the process instructing her to repent for