FEATURED ARTICLE
MARIANA
CALLEJA
‘ When we ’ re young communicating often hurts .’
I
AM A DOCTOR , A TRAVELLLER , A writer , a pole dancer , chronic pain management expert , brain geek , and human behaviour fanatic . I am also a daughter , a sister , an aunt , a partner , a cousin and a friend . I also have a qualification that gives me a professional title . Is that me , on that piece of paper ? Yes , according to most
people I meet . I ’ m Doctor Mariana , with infinite emphasis on “ Doctor ”. But I wasn ’ t born this way . I started as Mariana , a naked , beautiful baby girl who learned how to wear a white coat .
Like most kids ( even the happy , loved child I was at an early age ) I struggled to communicate who I was , and to understand who everyone else was .
I remember parent struggles , when I ’ d be afraid to say or do certain things , never really understanding why consequences existed until I hit adulthood myself . I remember school-friends struggles : the unexpected connections , mysterious silences and social exclusions that would leave me confused and adrift without answers . I became an adult , and the nature of relationships remained mysterious , obscured . I was married . I divorced .
When we ’ re young , communicating often hurts . We fear the unknown . There ’ s sadness , there ’ s pain deep in the chest , there ’ s fear , and there ’ s doubt about who is really to blame here . We adjust - but learning to communicate effectively , meaningfully , lovingly , that ’ s a battle that ’ s never truly won .
In fact , effective communication is about relationships powered by that slippery concept called love , however we define it - as eros , as familial loyalty , as the unshakeable bond between friends , as mutual admiration between peers , or some other form .
You recognise it when it hits . Your heart thumps , your breathing changes , your head spins , your legs are filled with restless energy . You ’ re energised , hopeful , dreamy and alive , willing to communicate without fear of judgment or failure .
Love powers the best kind of communication - and the key to happiness is communicating our feelings effectively , and learning the empathy required to understand the feelings of
“ Mariana gives a space of complete trust , honesty and inspiration . She found the source of my pain within the first 30 minutes .” @ Nicole Kolb , South Africa LIFEGRID MAGAZINE | LIFEGRID . COM . AU MARCH 2017