74 Life Without Conflict
When you talk this way , it really shows that you are the one that is weak and inferior . How can she be controlling you ? Just remain silent when she speaks . Only the weak get annoyed easily . So , when she gets annoyed , you should remain silent and just listen to her ‘ record ’.
If a Muslim man is unhappy with his wife ’ s cooking and makes a comment about it and the wife gets angry , he will then remain silent and not say anything to antagonize her because he knows that if he does , the situation will blow up . He will mind his own business and let her mind hers , whereas the Hindu men will not refrain from blowing up the situation .
Every cast and creed wears its hats differently . The Vanik ( traders ) has his own hat , the Brahmin has his hat ; each has his own way of wearing it . Everyone is different . Everyone ’ s viewpoint is different and therefore , they cannot agree upon things , but it is best if quarrels do not arise .
Be Vigilant Before Differences Arise
If there is no intent of hostility left within you , then the other person will not have any intent of hostility towards you either . If you do not get annoyed or angry , neither will they . You have to become like a brick wall so that you hear nothing . Hiraba and I have been married for fifty years but we have never had any differences . If Hiraba spills ghee , I simply watch . My knowledge that she is not the one spilling is present at the time . Even if I ask her to spill , she will not . Would anyone spill anything valuable on purpose ? No . Therefore , when ghee spills , you should just observe it . Before any conflicts arise , this Gnan is present on-the-moment .
A wife is easily pacified if the husband tells her , “ Only I know what I am going through ,” but our Hindu men do not even say that ; at least say this much so that happiness prevails .