54 Life Without Conflict
not have to consider the other person ’ s welfare . Besides who are you to say what is beneficial for him ? How can you ascertain what is good for him when you cannot even ascertain what is beneficial for you ? People evaluate benefits to the best of their ability . You must keep in mind what is good for others , but only to a certain degree , and if conflicts arise as a result , then it is not acceptable .
Questioner : What should we do when we know that despite our efforts to compromise to reach a settlement with the other person , the outcome is going to be bad ?
Dadashri : The outcome may be anything . All you have to do is to have the intent to resolve conflicts with that person . Make a decision to settle with equanimity without worrying whether you will be successful or not . Sooner or later , it will happen ; if not today , then tomorrow or the day after ; it may even take several years depending on how sticky your karmic account is . The relationships that you have with your wife , children and parents are very sticky and therefore they take longer to settle with equanimity . With those who are always close by or who are always with you , things will resolve slowly and gradually . Once you have decided that you want to settle all accounts with equanimity , it will happen , and there will come an end to it all . You have to maintain extreme awareness when dealing with those , with whom you have very sticky karmic accounts . No matter how small a snake is , you must proceed with caution , maintain awareness . If you become careless and inattentive , you will not be successful in resolving these matters . If the other person says something to you and you happen to retort , your external response is of no significance , because your inner intent now is that you want to settle matters with equanimity , and therefore abhorrence no longer exists . Speech belongs to the body and hatred exists because it is supported by your ego . But , if you decide that you want to settle