Life Without Conflict Life Without Conflict | Page 57
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Life Without Conflict
were truly your son, then even after the beating, he would get
down on his knees and say to you, “Dad, your hand must be
hurting a lot after the beating.” If he says that, then your
relationship is real. But if you were to rebuke him for just an
hour, he would stand up to you and hit you. You are attracted
to your children because of your attachment (moha). A real son
is one who would willingly enter the funeral pyre with his father.
Has any son ever done that?
All of your suffering comes because you take it upon
yourself. Your children do not ask you to shower your affection
on them, but fathers themselves are guilty of doing this. The fault
is entirely yours. You have to carry out all your responsibilities
and duties as a father. One father was hugging his child so hard
that the child bit him. The real Self cannot be anyone’s son or
a father. In this Kaliyug, your children have come to you as
your creditors; they have come to collect on a debt from your
past. What if you were to tell your customers, “I do not like it
without you; I miss you.”? What would they do? They would
hit you. All these relationships are relative, and from these,
evolve all the inner enemies of anger, pride, deceit and greed,
attachment, and abhorrence. From the inner enemy of attachment
arises the enemy of abhorrence. You should never become
drawn into any kashaya that arises. If the milk is boiling over,
you just have cut down the heat.
Correct Molding and Incorrect Molding
Questioner : In dealing with my children, I do not
understand what is proper and what is improper.
Dadashri : Whatever you do without being asked, is
being over-wise. However, you should carry out your duties
towards your children; until they reach the age of five, you
should do everything for them. Later, when they are older, if
your son asks you for his school fees, you should tell him, “Son,