Life Without Conflict Life Without Conflict | Page 137

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Life Without Conflict
in vain. Whenever you are quarreling, you must maintain
awareness that it is your past karma that makes you dance.
Therefore, you must settle all this ‘dancing’ through your Gnan.
Questioner : But Dada surely both the quarreling parties
must remember this.
Dadashri : No, here each has to mind his or her own
business. If you improve, only then will the other person
improve. Just think a little, when after awhile you both have to
be together, why then should you quarrel? Once you enter into
a marriage, why should there be any quarreling? You forget
incidents that took place yesterday, whereas for me, everything
remains present in my Gnan. Mind you, this thinking is a
virtuous and is helpful for even those who do not have Gnan.
It is out of ignorance that people believe their spouse will try to
control them. But, if someone were to ask me, I would tell him,
“You are a top and so is she, so how is she going to control
you? Do you think that the control is in her hands?” Everything
is under the control of vyavasthit. And even if your wife were
to control you, what is she going to do? If you were to give in
a little, your poor wife will feel a sense of comfort in her mind
that you have come under her control! She will be at peace.
Suspicion Leads to Conflicts
Most of the quarreling today stems from suspicion.
Suspicion creates vibrations that ignite into flames, and if one
becomes free from suspicion, then these flames will automatically
extinguish. If both the husband and wife become suspicious,
then how can these flames be extinguished? One of you has no
choice but to become suspicion-free. Quarrels between parents
ruin the impressions on children’s psyche (sanskar), so both the
parents must work towards settling matters with equanimity. How
can you get rid of suspicion? This gnan of ours can you make
you completely suspicion-free. The soul has infinite powers!!