cluding texting, where important cues such as
tone of voice, physical posture and expressions
are all missing from the dialogue. Therefore,
the intended connection was not made.
We all communicate a message, real or
perceived, verbally as well as non-verbally.
In “Learning by Doing,” authors Rebecca
and Richard DuFour, Robert Eaker and
Thomas Many state: “Leaders must realize
that the most important element in communicating is congruency between their actions
and their words.”
One important lesson I learned in an undergrad sign language class is that you cannot sign one thing (e.g., “happy”) with an
opposite facial expression (e.g., “sadness”).
It causes confusion, which in turn produces
poor communication.
In John C. Maxwell’s book, “Everyone
Communicates, Few Connect,” he proposes
there are three questions people want to
know about you:
• Do you care for me?
• Can you help me?
• Can I trust you?
Notice that all three of these questions are
personal and require a positive connection
to be effective. When you are perceived as
someone who truly cares and desires to help,
people are more willing to trust and connect
with you. Our humanity longs for those who
care and take an interest in us.
When we are unaware of the needs of others, it can be corrected by obtaining knowledge about them. It’s when we don’t express
an interest or take the time to find out that
we can create distrust. An African proverb
says it best: “Not to know is bad, not to want
to know is worse; not to try is unthinkable,
but not to care is unforgivable.”
Making connections
Within John C. Maxwell’s body of work,
he cites “truths about people” and actions
that can help maintain positive connections:
• “People are insecure ... give them confidence.”
• “People want to feel special ... sincerely
compliment them.”
• “People desire a better tomorrow ... show
them hope.”
• “People need to be understood ... listen
to them.”
Collaborative adult relationships are essential, and parents,
students and the community as a whole are vital partners.
• “People are selfish ... speak to their needs
first.”
• “People get emotionally low ... encourage them.”
• “People want to be associated with success ... help them win.”
In my school district, parents are provided
the opportunity to participate in a yearly
parent survey that highlights and rates targeted areas to ensure a positive home/school
connection, including statements related to
school climate, safety and a sense of belonging. Survey choices include such responses as
“I feel respected and welcomed at my child’s
school” and “When I have a concern I know
whom to contact.”
In addition, classified staff, including
home/school liaisons and community relations personnel, are provided professional
development to support parent engagement
at the site. They are prepared and encouraged
to provide information as it relates to building positive connections with families and
the community, including customer service
standards. In addition, the trainings are utilized to support staff with tools empowering
them to engage parents in the process.
In my current administrative role in our
parent involvement department, our mission
is to “empower, engage and connect families
to support student achievement.” That connection includes a curriculum that focuses
on providing knowledge, direction and resources to increase parent engagement.
Collaboration with school site administration, other departments throughout the
district and community-based organizations
reinforces one of our core beliefs and commitments: Collaborative adult relationships
are essential, and parents, students and the
community as a whole are vital partners.
Home/school investment
In my experiences as a parent, I was aware
of the need to connect early in the year with
the school and teachers of both my daughters. I was very involved in their schooling,
including through the PTA and as a noontime assistant, and was able to identify those
teachers who truly believed in and cared for
my children.
Those connections made a positive difference during their school years, and even contributed to their career decisions. To this day,
several of those connections have continued
throughout the years into their adult lives.
Maintaining positive connections with
parents also requires an initial investment of
November | December 2016
9