Lash-Ed Issue 4 October 2019 - Page 50

How to set yourself up for success in 2020!

If 2019's been a rough ride, then this one's for you!

Take some time to reflect. Whether or not you choose to take action after you do, is your choice.

I see a lot of people make the same mistakes when trying to make changes in their lives. These are often things people talk about when they first come to work with me, the reasons why they have failed over and over and not moved on to be the person who they want to be. All of these can be an incredibly frustrating situation to be in. Blame gets placed on other people, on situations, on timing or on anything else other than looking a little closer to home. Yes, external factors can make a huge difference, but the accountability and responsibility must start with you – then you look elsewhere!

This is what I hear a lot of

If at first you don’t succeed, do the same thing, the same way and fail again! In a new year, people start to think about what they want to achieve, what they want to do, who they want to become.

Many people will be rushing ahead without stopping to think about this last year. What did they set out to achieve in January 2018? What were they all enthusiastic about, excited to get going on? How did they imagine 2020 to be?

Did it happen? If yes - How? If not – Why?

What will you do more of because it worked well?

What will you do less of because it didn’t get you the result or impact or outcome that you wanted?

If you don’t take time to sit and reflect on the year, you will go leaping enthusiastically into the next and repeating the same behaviours and habits. Even if 2018 was a year of success then spend some time reflecting on why so you can make it happen again in 2020!

It’s all balls!

Life throws everyone curve balls. How we handle them is what sets us apart. Sometimes life throws us a ball shaped like none we've ever seen before and so we must get help from others to help us handle it, so it doesn’t floor us. Has 2019 thrown you some new balls?

What have you learnt about yourself?

What positives can you pull out of the experience that you can take in to the next 12 months?

Did you learn that you are more resilient than you thought?

Did you learn that it is okay to ask for help and seek support?

Did you learn more about the internal resources that you already had that you can apply to other situations?

What did it tell you about the people around you? Did they show up and step in when you needed or asked?

If 2019 threw you a ball that floored you, what would you do differently next time? What do you know now that can help you stay on your feet if it happens again?

Life throws the balls – You ultimately have the decision on whether you learn how to play or you sit on the bench.

Failing by choice. When the status Quo becomes too comfortable.

Confession time. Put your hands up if staying the same was easier than trying to change. Be honest!

You started off with great intentions, lots of energy, you could see the positives of making all the changes you were setting out to make but as time went by it was just a lot easier to slip into the behaviour and habits you know.

Life got difficult, (as it often does) and so it was a great ‘excuse’ to just return to what you know and what is comfortable and put the goals on hold ‘for a bit’ until things settle down. You have to WANT to make the changes, you have to want to put in the energy and effort into it.

Start small, embed the changes so they no longer feel different and become the ‘new normal’. Small daily consistent effort is a lot easier to continue regardless of what is going on around you.

5 things to ask yourself when setting goals for 2020

1. Who are you setting the goal for and why are you setting it?

2.What are you prepared to give up and take up to make it happen?

3. Are they in alignment with who you are, and what is important to you? (values/needs/purpose)

4. What old behaviours and habits do you need to leave behind to make these happen?

5. What internal resources do you have, what external resources will you need to support you?

If you are determined to make 2020 a success but know that you need support to get you there, lets have a chat and see how I can best support you to become who YOU want to be and live the life YOU choose next year.

Zoe Thompson

Phoenix Life and Wellbeing Coach

www.phoenixlifecoach.co.uk