How our curiosity supports our parenting
If you are experiencing a sense of distance between yourself and your child , this feeling deserves some attention and some expanded field support .
All too often in our busy lives we can miss the signals and signs that could be pointing us towards really checking in to where we are at with our children and the family unit as a whole . It is completely normal for us to feel different when our children move into different stages of their development and growth .
As they change , we change . As our children develop and grow we are inevitably forced to develop and grow with them . I know so many parents who have experienced a lack of connection to their child , whether it be during pregnancy , infancy or beyond and I imagine that there is a lot of shame and misunderstanding regarding this theme . In a perfect world , it seems that it would make sense for parents to connect effortlessly to there children at all times . And yet , this is not the case . I ' d love to take this to a deeper place and invite you to contemplate this relationship with your child in a new way .
Parts of you , your memories and experiences from your own childhood , naturally arise through parenting . For example , how it felt to be three years old in your childhood , can impact how you feel when your child becomes three . When my son turned three , I started to notice that I was feeling dissociated , bored and uninterested in playing with him . I noticed that a part of me was wanting to be anywhere but there . This was unusual for me , and when I realised I was feeling this way , I grew anxious , frightened and sad . I have always been grateful that I ' ve enjoyed a deeply connected journey with my son and this feeling was new and strange . I noticed that my response to this realisation was an impulse to simply accept this disconnection and go with it . To allow this disconnection to be in the relationship with my son and I going forward . by Leanna McNeil
As a psychotherapist , I feel thankful that I have learned many new tools and understandings about myself and the world around me . I have learned how a sense of curiosity can be the greatest gift . If I notice something is changed in how I feel , I can get curious , and use this curiosity to create a new level of understanding of myself .
So that is what I ended up doing when I noticed this disconnection with my son . I got curious , then booked a session to have my curiosity supported . I am so grateful that it is possible in this day and age that we have the luxury to choose to take a closer look at our own inner workings , feelings and beliefs . As it turned out , my own experiences from my childhood needed some support , attention and care and once I had the support that I needed , I no longer experienced that distance between my son and I .
I believe that feelings are like the body , it is never too late to benefit from giving yourself some extra care and attention . Even if you ' ve had surgery years ago , the body will still respond to treatment in the area like accupuncture and massage . Our feelings are the same , and it is never too late to benefit from some support even if the experience the feelings are connected to lay in the past .
Do you have a support team for the times when things aren ' t flowing , when disconnection is online and when creating the space for you to examine what might be happening for you on a deeper level could really be useful ? My support team consists of my close and trusted friends and family , talented and qualified professionals , informative books written by experts in their field , and good old fashion google .
If there is one thing I believe can help you on this parenting journey it ’ s this – know when you are out of your comfort zone , trust your gut , and be willing to ask for help .
Leanna McNeil offers psychotherapy , holistic counselling , energetic healing , intuitive remedial massage and cupping and transformational bodywork out of her gorgeous centre Sana Wellness at Erina Hts . When she isn ’ t in private practice she is passionately facilitating wellness retreats with Wellness Bootcamp , Ontrack and Women ’ s Wellness Retreats . Ph : 0424 098 913
36 KIDZ ON THE COAST