On the Coast – Families Issue 96 I October/November 2019 | Page 12

Understanding
your child’s
temperament
style
by Lindie Nell
E
ach child is born with their
own temperament style.
Temperament is a key part of
personality development.
“Temperament is our innate tendency to
develop in a certain way. It determines
among other things, the person’s likely
focus on people or tasks, his or her
budding as an introvert extrovert,
pessimist or optimist, thinker or talker,
spectator participant, leader or follower,
individual or team player, agent of
change or defender of the status quo,
fighter or peacemaker.” Hettie Brittz
Maybe you have seen children in the
same household, with the same parents,
the same life experiences but different
responses to life. I have seen siblings going
through the same traumatic experiences,
but the one child fights and bounces back
with resilience and the other child goes
down a path of self-destruction.
In a family one child might be content
with a little bit of attention and nurturing
where the other child just needs that little
bit extra love and nurture.
It can be helpful for parents to
understand about the different
temperament styles, not for the purpose
of putting your child in a box, but to
have an understanding that your quiet
child is not necessarily unhappy but
unlike you they are content with
observing the world from a distance.
Us as parents need to understand that
our children might be different than
their siblings and different than us and
that it is okay. Our children also benefit
when we meet their needs according to
their temperament styles.
There are four main temperament
styles. In this article I will give short
descriptions of each temperament
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KI DZ O N T H E C OA ST
according to nature. Your child will
dominantly have one temperament style
in combination with some of the others.
The Sea Child
will need some guidance with self-
compassion and compassion for others.
PARENT TIP: Sea children tend to be very
sensitive little beings, and need lots of love,
nurturing and encouragement from their
parents.
The “Wind” Child
Sea children are introverts and emotional,
they are analytical and can be very
creative. Just as waves move up and
down, Sea children’s emotions can go up
and down, from being happy, joyful and
content to crashing down, feeling really
sad and miserable. Sea children are the
most talented and gifted children of all
the temperament styles, but for some
reason they don’t see their own beauty
underneath the surface of the water. So
many beautiful things are hidden in plain
sight, if you are prepared to dig a bit
deeper and willing to look underneath
what your child is showing you. Don’t be
surprised to find richness and talents. Sea
children are loyal friends, but will be slow
to make friends. Sea children also set high
standards and usually do well in school.
You might often find your child being
critical of themselves and others and they
We need wind to get things moving like
windmills to generate rotational energy
and wind turbines to generate electricity,
but wind can also turn destructive when
it turns into a tornado. Wind children
are extroverts, and make good leaders,
they are adventurous, active and love
exploring. You will find your confident,
goal orientated and self-motivated child
will often be chosen to be a leader. We
need wind children as they usually turn
into pioneers. When you have a Wind
child she will be independent and make
quick decisions. Taking control comes
easily for them and they will not give up
easily. However, the danger is that they
can use their strong leadership abilities in
an unsensitive way and be bossy without