On the Coast – Families Issue 98 I February/March 2019 | Page 20

cont.from page 19
children into our own arrangements, our
own ‘stuff,’ we become more and more
insensitive to their unique needs.
We don’t enjoy being parents because
our minds our elsewhere, hello mama guilt!
When we do focus on present
parenting though, our minds and our
hearts will shift dramatically, straight
into the core of that moment.
You’re there and you’re free from all
of the worry, all of the ‘should do’s.’
We do live within an age where
busyness is becoming a virtue – and
because of this it can create the very
same expectations in our children.
We are giving our children the
message that hyperdrive is a normal
state of mind. If we’re not doing all the
‘should do’s’ then we are feeling guilty
about it. This will eventually create a
disconnect because we do not possess the
capacity to slow down.
We then run the risk of creating
this for our own children. Our children
who blossom into teenagers and then
young adults who do not understand the
meaning of balance and in slowing down,
because they haven’t seen what that
looks like, we haven’t shown them.
There is no doubt that with multiple
children, work and a home to run that
we all can sit in overwhelm and cannot
possibly avoid ‘busyness.’
But we can still be present within
those busy times.
Mindfulness is an aspect of conscious
parenting that I am a strong advocate for
and do go over in depth within both of
my workshops. Its an important lesson in
learning about stillness
and present parenting,
it’s a life long learning,
one that is worth
putting the energy into.
Let’s use doing the
dishes as an example,
a general awareness
when doing the dishes, the
movement of your hands, the
feel of the warm water and soap, then
rinsing it and putting it away – that’s it.
No other thought.
When we are doing homework with
our children, just do that. Put your phone
away, sit in a quiet space and be all there.
When you eat, sit down as a family.
Eat mindfully and chew your food
consciously. All technology away and be
all there. Talk, laugh, eat!
Being mindful of the stresses around
you and in your life can bring about a
sense of self awareness. Do stop. Do take
notice. What are the thoughts running
through your mind? What is the effect
that stress is having in your body? How
does it feel?
Use that newfound awareness to
benefit you all, by creating ‘mindful bites’
such as the examples above, these are
the moments that need not be stressful
anymore.
Nikki Smith is a Registered Nurse and a Qualified Child and Family Nurse. A mama of three beautiful
daughters with a strong belief in raising our children consciously and intuitively. Nikki is the founder of
Earthway Parenting andhas developed and is facilitating Post Partum Care and Tuning into your Toddler
Workshops. Nikki also provides in home, one on one consultations according to the unique needs of your
family focusing on gentle parenting for your infant and/or toddler. You can find more information here
www.earthwayparenting.com.au
How did you spend
the holidays?
Our summer school holiday program was
the biggest yet with over 140 activities
across the Coast.
Check out the program
each school holidays
for the latest information.
centralcoast.nsw.gov.au/schoolholidays
20
KI DZ O N T H E C OA ST
Be mindful.
When we are being
mindful as parents, as
humans. When we are
choosing to be in that
present moment with
ourselves. This is when
we are being our authentic
self. This is when we are not
comparing ourselves to others,
we are not distracted, we are all there. In
that particular moment.
If we can practice this more often,
practice it only once daily. We will
judge ourselves less (I really shouldn’t
be reading this magazine I need to
put washing on, gosh I’m such a
terrible housewife…) We will live more
authentically (because we are being
ourselves rather than comparing
ourselves to others aka social media!)
And we are living right here in the
present, there’s no future, and no past,
just there in that exact moment.
How we choose to live our own lives
can sometimes be our best teachers. Be
gentle with yourself. We are all learning
and you are doing the work when you
create the understanding that you want
to ‘break the cycle’ that you’re in, so be
kind to you, because you are doing the
best that you can, in the end we all are.
Sc
ho
ol
Ho
lid
ay
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