On the Coast – Families Issue 93 | April / May 2018 | Page 33
are ok to sit there but after a certain
point we become more bored, distractable
and restless. Our concentration wains
and if we don’t get a break or change we
become more agitated.
Crying is one state we are all familiar
with. This is your baby’s way of saying I
have had enough and it is time to stop
what you are doing and help them calm
down. Babies can only really learn to calm
themselves by being comforted from
someone else initially, then build the
internal skills to calm themselves over
time. Babies cry for a whole lot of different
reasons. They may be hungry, tired,
uncomfortable, scared or feeling insecure
or overwhelmed. Crying usually becomes
more frequent around 4-6 weeks of age
and then starts to reduce in frequency as
they learn more coping skills.
As adults we don’t tend to burst into
tears every day (although some days this
does happen). We do tend to become
more reactive and not cope so well with
stuff when we are tired. Maybe be a bit
more snappy, less tolerant.
Note: You cannot spoil a newborn baby
(or adult) by responding to them when they
cry. Research shows babies whose parents
respond quickly and sensitively to their
crying actually cry less and become more
secure as adults.
No one sleeps well when feeling
stressed. If you are feeling overwhelmed
yourself, it is ok to take a short break and
get back on top of your emotions. Make
sure your baby is in a safe place. Take some
slow breaths, call a friend or supportive
family member, or have a drink of water.
Your baby is not going to settle while
you are feeling that way because they
are tuned into your emotional state to
evaluate risks to their own safety. From
their perspective, if you are worried or
stressed about something, and you are
their life support system, they ought to
be worried too. So take a break, get calm,
calm your baby then help them sleep.
Note: Never shake or rock your newborn
baby with force, as this may cause damage
to their developing brain.
If you are worried about the amount
that your baby cries or about how your
baby’s crying is affecting you, talk to
your early childhood nurse or GP.
Know your baby’s state
This will help you understand their
temperament as well as support their
development. When you know what
state your baby is in you can then do
things to help them move through them
more easily.
To wake a sleepy baby you could try
these things:
Remove the blankets or wrap or
undress them/change their nappy.
Get close to your baby’s face and
talk gently, changing the pitch/tone
of your voice. Change your baby’s
position by picking them up or sitting
them up.
To help your baby to calm down you
could try these things:
Hold them close, talk in a slow steady
voice, stroke their face, head or back,
rock, pat, shh or sing to your baby.
Give your baby something to hold,
like a finger or toy. Get familiar with
things that work for your baby.
Support your baby’s developing
efforts to calm themselves. Look for
things your baby is doing like sucking
on their hands, fingers or tongue,
bringing hands to mouth, focussing on
something, especially if it is someone’s
face. Notice and comment to them on
what you observe and how clever they
are. This will reassure you and your
baby…
Jan Rourke is a Registered Nurse, Midwife, Child and Family Health Nurse as well as a certified
counsellor and Hypnobirthing practitioner. Based on the Central Coast, with a background in perinatal
and infant mental health her focus is on promoting a positive experience of pregnancy, childbirth
and early parenting and securely attached infants. Ph 0407 733 484, facebook.com/4babyandyou;
www.4b abyandyou.com.au
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APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 93
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