Developing Dreams
Developing Dreams
Developing Wellbeing :
Developing Dreams
STEP 2 OF 5 Happiness ! “ Fostering empowerment in children , educators and families by learned optimism , cultivating happiness , and building resiliency ” Welcome to Step Two of Five strategies designed to support the creation of wellbeing in your child ’ s and your own life . In step one ( last edition of Kidz On The Coast magazine ) we discussed Belonging . Today we are looking into Happiness !
Life is not always going to give you roses . It can provide you with such joy your heart melts or cheeks hurt from smiling , but it can also provide you with challenge , heartbreak and loss . This is inevitable and a reality that is important not only to know , but to acknowledge . Not only to acknowledge but to assimilate . Not only to assimilate , but to plan for as best as possible . The quote by Buddhist Monk Mattheiu Ricard explains this succinctly and is completely relevant to cultivating and acknowledging happiness in your life . Ricard believes ‘ happiness is a way of being that gives you the resources to deal with the ups and downs of life ’.
‘ Happy people ’ are not happy all of the time . They experience a full range of emotions which further promote their wellbeing . They live whole-heartedly and FEEL . If Ricard ’ s statement about happiness is true , what resources support the labelling of ‘ happiness ’ throughout one ’ s life ? The answering of this question is pivotal in fostering empowerment in children and families . Dr Tim Sharp from the Happiness Institute suggests several beneficial strategies when times are challenging such as accessing support , maintaining perspective , living a healthy lifestyle and one of my favourites , accepting the world is full of imperfect people and imperfective events ! Take the time now to reflect on your thoughts and behaviours . What challenges you the most , or in other words , what do you believe prevents your happiness ? After spending a moment considering the factors in your life , now turn inwards to your thoughts . What are you making these situations mean ?
Your mind is a powerful tool and as Victor Frankl believes , the ‘ last human freedom ’ as he refers to one ’ s ability to choose one ’ s thoughts in any set of circumstances .
As suggested , happiness is a key component of wellbeing – but that appears obvious doesn ’ t it ? Surely one must be happy to be well ! This is where I must clarify , when referring to wellbeing , this is not limited to one area of ourselves , but to many moulded together . As Martin Seligman , author of Flourish , would emphasise , when considering ‘ wellbeing ’, think ‘ flourishing ’. What evidence would you need to believe your child was flourishing ? From an early childhood perspective , educators would view a child as having a strong sense of wellbeing when they show signs of positive feelings of belonging , happiness , engagement / flow , emotional intelligence and gratitude / appreciation . Physical wellbeing moulds with emotional wellbeing , which moulds with spiritual wellbeing and so on and so forth . For instance , a child may be excelling in a sport at a very high representative level , so appear to be flourishing . If , however , they are disconnected from relationships , dependent on achievement / results and lack significant moments of joy , would it be accurate to label this child as an example of wellbeing ? They may be physically flourishing , but not flourishing holistically , and this after all , is the goal for all children … and each adult !
In the context of being a mother , your own inner happiness and contentment are the greatest gifts you can give your child . Remember Ricard ’ s quote ? ‘ Happiness is a way of being that gives you the resources to deal with the ups and downs of life ’.
Let ’ s agree now , life is going to contain challenge . It will give you dark days , where the light at the end of the tunnel will feel the size of a pin head . Can you work at being ok with that ? Is it possible to reach a place of contentment in these moments , understanding they will end ? They are necessary ? You will find your happy place again ? What would the impact be on yourself , your loved ones and your children if these beliefs rang true in your life , or at the very least , increased in presence ? I believe this to be a significant responsibility of our role as mother – to model resiliency , calm , contentment , faith and happiness for our children . To demonstrate an assimilation of the varying emotions and experiences life delivers us . Is this easier said than done ? Yes . Is it achievable however ? Yes . When a survey was conducted asking children which teacher they would go to if they had a problem , the findings showed children ’ s comfort resided with teachers who smiled , as opposed to their role , such as counsellor or classroom teacher . A smile depicts happiness , safety , ease , openness and comfort . So too does energy levels , body language , experiences , communication and interactions .
As you go on with your day today , take a deep breath and look around you . Search for the joy , the feel-good , the delightful , the happiness . See it , feel it , taste it , smell it and live it . Is it flowers in your neighbour ’ s garden or the aroma of a laksa ? Could it be a photo , music , a passer-by , a sale , the smell of rain , the gift of vision , the chubbiness of your child ’ s fingers , the sound of your partners key in the door , the feel of your pillow at night ? The ability to access positive emotions are all around you if you seek them out .
24 KIDZ ON THE COAST