You are being perfectly reasonable to expect more information from your prospective life partner prior to marriage. And the idea for you to get to know his family is a smart one since they will be the ones to help make the transition into a new family much easier. Arranged marriages in the Western world have many variants and it looks like your engagement allows some communication between you two to take place prior to the wedding.
Use this time to ask all your questions and be satisfied with your answers before you proceed. And don’t rush to use the word love until you are ready, instead try defining it for yourself and asking your fiancé what his definition of love is to make sure that you are on the same page.
We all see examples of marriages that work out very well, some reasons are because there are a common sense of values, respect and communication which can help build a strong foundation for a relationship. Lastly, although the pressures from the family may make you feel trapped - remember in life we always do have a choice.
Ironically prior to coming across this Q&A, we faced a similar situation in our family. My eldest niece was getting married and she had a long engagement with her fiancé. He had met all the family that lived in Vancouver, but he was curious to see where my niece was born and raised - her hometown. At the time, most of my fairly traditional family still lived in this small northern BC town. It was unheard of for the fiancé to come and visit prior to marriage. My eldest sister & husband were uncomfortable with the situation and they said NO, as did my parents (the grandparents). I pointed out to all of them, that in our South Asian culture upon marriage, once the girl leaves and goes to her husband’s house that family is to become her family - and her priority. I said that it would be a good idea for her future husband to also form a strong bond with our family so that there was no division… no my and your family, but only our family. They both agreed and he came to visit.
To this day, you can see the closeness that was formed between him and all the large extended family that he married into that all started with that visit. These are just a couple of examples of how South Asians face the delicate balancing act of paying homage to their culture while striving to build their life in a Western world.
It’s not always easy and sometimes all you need is someone to confide in, ask questions of or to learn from… a coach, mentor and friend. A Dear DIDI. I look forward to hearing from and being here for you!