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In many families, older children help to care for their sick parents and to raise their siblings. The older the child is, the more
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Besides taking over household chores, the child nurses the sick parent. This is very demanding, because with the extra
aware he or she will be about what lies ahead.
responsibilities there is little time left for schoolwork or play. Many children feel overwhelmed by the huge responsibility.
Discussion:
Ask the mothers if they think it is important to disclose to their children and to prepare their children for the death of a parent.
BACKGROUND FOR THE FACILITATOR
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It is important to discuss your status with your child on an age-appropriate level.
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Children who already understand the relationship between disease and death might start to worry that the parent may die.
They begin to worry about their own future as well. Children of parents affected by HIV/Aids have reported that they worry
about their sick parents; they worry about going to school and they are afraid of finding their parent dead when they come
home. Often children are afraid that there will be no one to take care of them.
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These are very realistic fears and they should be taken seriously. As caregivers, we need to discuss these fears at home as
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Children are severely affected by the stigma of the disease. Forced secrecy can be a great burden on children because they
parents. It is not surprising that children who are preoccupied with such fears can't concentrate in the classroom.
have to control what they say, what they do and how they express what they feel.
Discussion
Ask the mothers if they will disclose in a different manner to children of different ages and how they will do it.
BACKGROUND FOR FACILITATOR:
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Children of different ages understand illness and death differently according to their stage of cognitive (thinking) and emotional
development. It is therefore important to discuss illness and death on an age-appropriate way.
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Remember that each child will react differently according to his or her personality and access to external support.
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It is crucially important to explain to the child that the parent is sick in a way that the child can understand. The child needs
to understand that it is not his or her actions or fault that the parent is sick. This may take a long time for the child to understand
because it is not easy for the child to grasp the concept of death and disease. But such understanding and meaning are critical
for the coping and grieving process. 'Re-enacting' play is a normal and natural process by which F