KeyLine Mag March 2016 - Page 13

relationships By Yolanda Collins RELATIONSHIPS What you want or what you need? Life is lived by the choices we make. There are always multiple options to the outcome in most of the situations we face. And the end result is always based on the choices we make. If your are weighing your options based on what you want, I can tell you right now, that you are probably about to make the wrong choice. Start putting what you need ahead of what you want. I am going to give an example that I feel may help someone that is going through this struggle. You have been single and dating, and you have finally narrowed it down to 2 people. The first option, has a great career, is very trust worthy, and focused on what they want in life. They are a little more serious than you are about some things, but you have great times together and you know you could be happy with this person. But, it would require you to make some changes that would ultimately be for the better. The second option - has no job, hangs out everyday doing who knows what, and is not working toward achieving any real goals. You also have great times together and you know that you could be happy with this person as well. But, they do not care if you ever change, even if it’s for the better. And you are going to require this person to do some work on their self in order to build the future that you want. Here is the killing part: You love the first option, and you know that this person is who you need to be with to build a future. But, you are in love with the second option, and this is who you want to be with right now. That is ALWAYS the case. And what do we ALWAYS do? We go with what we want; the “right now” option and we end up regretting the decision. Then we think about what life would have been life if we had just chose the person that we knew we needed to be with in the first place. One could say “oh well, we have to live and learn.” But the truth is, most people have been in this exact scenario more than once, which means you have not learned anything. Now that was just one example. You must know that relationships are only one of the areas, where making decisions based on what we want instead of what we need, can cause us to have regrets. It happens in financial decisions,($10,000 Dodge Charger instead of a $5,000 Toyota Camry), business decisions (Hiring employees based on looks instead of abilities) and even in decisions about our diet. (“Do I really need this donut or do I just want it?”) Just remember, when life gives you situations in which you are faced with multiple options, start making your choices more carefully. A nd when doing so, remember that what you want is not always what you need