Kalliope 2015 | Page 174

“What type of things does he say about me?” Heather has a huge grin on her face when I ask this. “Why do you want to know?” “Forget it, I don’t wanna know.” She’s told me before she ‘ships’ us, God-knows-why. “No, he didn’t say anything weird, just said you’re pretty and funny, the normal shit guys say.” “He’s just so...cheery all the time.” “Well, opposites attract,” she says before she slouches farther down into her seat and turns her attention to the professor. I absent-mindedly jot down today’s notes from the projector as I begin to think about Heather and the things she said about Andy. Andy’s not so terrible, he’s just not for me, but I couldn’t help but think that if I were with a guy like Andy I wouldn’t have to hide my money in a power outlet. Later that night Johnny and I are headed to Mickey’s Tavern dressed as Edward Scissorhands and Marie-Antoinette, respectively. We were supposed to coordinate costumes as Beatrix and Bill of “Kill Bill,” but we were forced to improvise when Johnny didn’t show up until half an hour before it was time to leave. Luckily, I have a Marie-Antoinette wig from a few Halloweens ago. I threw on a sundress that just barely fit. I really need to start going to the gym more, damn metabolism. For Johnny, I teased his dark, shoulder length hair, convinced him to wear some eyeliner, and somehow managed to find four pairs of scissors in my apartment which I carefully taped to his palms. It was a halfass job and he’ll probably take someone’s eye out before the night’s over, but hey, we look great! Far better than last year when he was one of those annoying assholes that gave stupid answers like, “I’m a nudist on strike” or “I’m a pedestrian” when people asked what he was supposed to be. We walk in and immediately see Tom waving us over from a booth. He’s wearing a maroon suit with mysterious stains on the right lapel and a fake moustache that doesn’t even match his hair color. He’s Ron Burgundy from “Anchorman.” I know this because this is who he was last year and the year before. “Hey, you guys look great!” Tom gets up from his seat and swings one arm around Johnny, his free hand holding his drink. “And Mia, 174