2014 Mathew Mihelcic Poetry Award
Out of Focus
by Sydney Doyle
Bokeh, from the Japanese word boke-aji:
the aesthetic quality of blur;
polygonal orbs of out-of-focus points of light.
I was smiling into a lens on the I-80 westbound
scenic overlook outside Allamuchy, NJ
as the golden-almost-orange-purple sun-mixed starlight
had me looking more beautiful
than I was.
Selective focus: distance from the subject,
aperture manipulation—
and then I am clearer than sunshimmer
through blackberry bushes.
My body, vibrant, rained on by soft geometric bulbs—
head tilted back slightly, jawbone jutted forward.
Spectacular reflections.
His Canon Rebel T2i had me looking
freer than I was.
The interstate: dark blue,
dotted lined
red to redder gradients of light.
But there was a certain slowness in the air between the taillights
and headlights and the break to blacktop from highway everyone
mistakes for exit 19 and veers back into
mobility upon realization.
In a flash, I become a thumbnail on a screen:
the snow had it looking colder than it was—
or maybe it was the holes in my sweater
that let through fiery threads, my left arm arched over,
hand balled in a fist, and a sunshined-chalk outline around
my still-living body.
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