June 2018 Issue #18 June 2018 PRIDE issue #18 4GUYS | Page 66

4. Share the power and control dynamic
One of the myths associated with being a good gay top is that you have to be the
one in control. And while it is true most tops are wired to do what they do, this
doesn’t mean they need to be controlling.
In fact, this approach can very much be a turn-off.
A better method is to share power and control and let your bottom guide you to-
wards what he wants. Follow his lead in form and position and mindfully tune into
where you sense he is heading. Believe it or not, bottoms can be aggressive too.
5. Synchronize your breathing
If you are a top that tends to blow too quickly or if this is the case for your bottom, it’s
time to start focusing on mindful breathing techniques. This approach will help circu-
late your blood flow and distribute oxygen throughout your system.
To engage in mindful breathing, simply take a few deep breaths and center your
awareness on the here and now. Purge your mind of extraneous thoughts, particu-
larly if you are focused on the end game.
Work with your partner to synchronize breathing. This will help the both of you and
may even offer the added benefit of edging.
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