June 2016 | Page 66

non-profit back then and needed to get work done during all hours, or at least that’s what I thought. Where it goes from bad to worse in the video is where you see me sitting with the laptop on my lap and my kids trying to show me their splits or dances or cheerleading moves and my head is buried in the laptop and you hear them say. “Mom, did you see that?” and my immediate answer, “Yes, it was wonderful. Great job!” Now, let’s go to the videotape…I didn’t even look up while they were dancing, etc. Not a great feeling for them to see that or for me to see that replayed. I was living numb and being that hamster on the wheel, living on total cruise control. Going through the motions of life. Not paying attention to what was important to me. I had a high need for success, wanted to move up the ladder, and more importantly with each move I was able to take better financial care of my family. I didn’t realize during that time it was raining for a good ten years on the inside. I wasn’t happy with all the pressure I had and the way I was choosing to spend my time, but didn’t think there were many other options. Why make waves? In hindsight the answer is clear, but back then it wasn’t. All I did was feel guilty for the time I wasn’t spending with the kids and that didn’t serve me or them. 66 | Eydis Magazine It took one day for me to have my “ah ha!” moment and realize that the career I was in wasn’t my dream and what I was doing with my time was limiting the amazing moments that I know I wanted to share with my family. I wasn’t living my life’s passion. I was settling. More importantly, my dream was always to inspire, help, and empower others. I was doing that through my current work, but not to the extent that I knew I could offer so many others. At one of my executive events, a life coach spoke as the keynote speaker and she took the audience on this amazing journey from crying to laughing, ultimately inspiring those in the audience long after her presentation. That day changed my life, but not for long. Even though I had the “ah ha” moment I wasn’t ready to make the change. I just allowed it to be what it was. Wit h two kids and a full time career, how was I going to go back to school and become a Certified Professional Coach? I couldn’t find time to do anything, let alone go back to school for over 300 hours. Was I ready to change the weather? Fast forward to two years later. My Dad suddenly got sick. The turning point was when he suddenly passed away and I realized that life is very short. I promised him I would do what I knew my life’s work was supposed to be. So one day, in order to connect with him like most people do when someone leaves us, I looked up to the sky. I had another “ah ha” moment, I saw this amazing beauty. It was like the first time that I had allowed myself a time-out to just be. The sky was no longer just blue. I saw hues of blues, periwinkle within the color palette, and the clouds were no longer just white. I actually saw shapes of different things in the clouds. I felt like I was awake