June 2016 | Page 54

Dear Liberty by Liberty Forrest Dear Liberty, I’m having a problem with a colleague who keeps insulting me. She is always belittling me and has pretty much knocked out any confidence I ever had about myself. I’m angry and hurt, and I hate the way she makes me feel. But I love my job and don’t want to leave. To make things worse, she’s good friends with the boss so I don’t dare complain either. What can I do about this? Signed, Fed up in Phoenix Dear Fed Up, I’ve had plenty of experience with people like that so I understand how you’re feeling. It can help to look at this woman’s behavior as a gift; please let me explain before you throw rocks at my house. The first part is that her behavior has nothing to do with you. This is about her choice to be rude and insulting. She’s probably like this with lots of people in her life; that’s her issue to work out. Or not. Secondly, your response has nothing to do with her behavior. You always get to choose how you react to what other people say and do. No one can ever control your feelings. So if you have some issues with self-esteem or self-doubt, 54 | Eydis Magazine another person’s comments might trigger those feelings but that’s on you, not the other person. For example, if you truly love, respect, and value yourself, if you really know and trust yourself, your q ualities, and abilities, you’ll have enough confidence not to let the nasty comments of an insecure or bitter person have a negative impact on you.