July 2018 Issue #19 July 2018 Issue #19 4Guys - Page 96

Image courtesy of ONEPulseFoundationTwo years on, how does this anni- versary and the events of that time feel to you today? Barbara: It’s a complete mixture. I have hope, I have goals and I do see a light at the end of my tunnel – a light at at the end of my darkness. I have to. Unlike anybody else that’s a survi- vor or staff member of Pulse, they don’t have to live it every day. They live with it every day but don’t do it every day. I do it every day and tell the story daily, and I have to walk into an office full of the aftermath of what happened. I won’t ever escape it, but my own personal hope is that in five years time, once the memorial and museum is built and we’re solid and I know the foun- dation is going in the right direction, hopefully I can step down from the day-to-day operations and see it from afar. Maybe that’s my time to move on and deal and cope. Everyone else goes to work somewhere else and has other jobs. They go back to other lives, but I have not, so that’s a little different for me. How will you keep the memory of Pulse alive as you try to move forward? Barbara: I’ve said since the day of the tragedy that I’ll open another Pulse, and I will call it Pulse. Not that I want to at my age, and I didn’t think I’d be opening another nightclub as it’s a lot of work, but I do feel like it is the true way to not let hate win. That’s what I’ve said since day one and if we don’t reopen Pulse, we’ve let hate win. We have to give back to the community what it lost. 96