Divorce Diaries
Long Time Listener
First Time Caller
By Annette Benson
W
e have all listened to someone
else share their problems, whether
it’s a friend, client, or even on a talk radio show.
Maybe you are one of those who screams at
your radio, “Oh my God! How could you not
have figured that one out!” Being able to truly
understand a friend ’s emotional upset requires
more than simply listening to their spoken
words (unless you are Dr. Laura).
We are generally pretty comfortable offering
our two cents to others—whether it’s sought
or not! But solving our own problems, well,
that’s an entirely different story. Things are more
complicated in our own world. So why not try to
be our own best friend? Why not take the time
to dig deep within ourselves and start solving
some problems rather than complaining, blaming,
and continuing to deal with the same issues that
simply come in different packages? The truth is no
one knows us better than we do. But to be able
to really examine what’s bothering us rather than
focus on who’s at fault, we have to strip down and
I mean get naked. Peel away our well established
defenses so our insecurities are revealed, our
battle wounds from prior relationships are visible.
Stand bare, vulnerable, and real.
80 | Eydis Magazine
It is only then that we can begin the process
of understanding the problem and working
towards resolution. Quiet the noise around
you, turn down the volume on your brain’s
constant talking, and concentrate on the
emotion that has taken over your gut. Anger?
Sadness? Frustration? Great start. Now, look
deeper—how does that emotion make you
feel? Helpless? Victimized? Not worthy?
Stop! Whatever “it” is, accept that it is your
responsibility, and yours only, to rescue
yourself. Look nowhere else but inward to
find answers to your problems. Look closely
enough and you just may find your own
freedom and strength. You are your own knight
in shining armor.
It’s easy to blame others. But blame doesn’t
solve a problem and it certainly doesn’t
bring you any closer to healing your wounds.
Look at each problem as a way to discover
something about yourself that makes you
stronger!
If you are in need of legal advice, contact me
at 248.646.2600 or email me at Annette@
AnnetteBensonLaw.com