Dear Liberty
by Liberty Forrest
Dear Liberty,
My husband and I are nearing retirement. It’s been a lifelong dream of ours to
move to Spain once our children were grown up and busy with lives of their own.
But now that we’re actually facing this decision, I’m having a lot of guilt about
moving to Spain and leaving our kids here in California. One of them in
particular will take it very hard and we’re especially close, so I feel quite torn.
I have always encouraged them to be independent and as much as I haven’t
wanted them to move away, when they’ve talked about the idea for one reason
or another, I’ve always supported them if that’s what they decided to do (but
they haven’t).
My husband is irritated with me for dragging my heels after talking about our
dream for decades. We absolutely adore Spain. He says we have a right to live
our own lives and to move away if that’s what we choose to do. Sometimes I
believe that, but then I think about telling my kids and it feels awful.
Can you help?
Signed,
Guilt-Ridden in California
Dear Guilt-Ridden,
I can understand your dilemma; I’ve experienced
the same general issue so I’m well acquainted
with the guilt you must be feeling.
somewhere that makes your soul sing, then you’re
doing yourself a huge disservice.
It’s easy to encourage our kids to go off and be
themselves and live their lives, but as moms we
do struggle with the concept of being the ones
who leave.
It’s also possible that you could begin to feel
some resentment eventually, which could damage
your relationships with your kids. And then there’s
your marriage; if you refuse to move, what would
the consequences be?
But your husband is right. Ultimately, we’re all
on the planet to live our best lives and to be the
best versions of ourselves we can. If you’re feeling
trapped or stuck in a place where you don’t
want to be and/or not allowing yourself to be
Not only that, but when push comes to shove I’ll
bet that if you asked your children if they’d rather
you stay and not get to live out your dream, they
would likely say no, especially if you remind them
that they are free to move wherever they want,
54 | Eydis Magazine