Dear Jitters,
Congratulations for being bold
and saying yes to your first date
after your divorce! Having the
jitters is normal and common,
so don’t think you’re alone in
feeling this way. I have some
good news for you, there’s
no way to do dating wrong,
especially if you release the
judgment that you will do it
wrong. Try the following secrets
to calming your dating jitters.
All of them are exercises that
promote presence and calm.
SECRETS TO CALMING
THE DATING JITTERS
•
Before you meet your date,
breathe in deeply through
your nose, hold the breath
for a slow count of five, then
exhale through your mouth
and purposely expand your
energy out. Repeat this until
you feel calmer.
•
At the beginning of the
date say, “You’re my first
date since my divorce, so
I’m a bit nervous.” Naming
how you feel out loud often
helps relieve your anxiety
by fifty percent or more!
And, there’s a likelihood
that he’ll be flattered and
compassionate about your
feelings. Heck, he may be
feeling anxious, too!
•
Put the attention on him
rather than on you and your
nervousness.
to experience how fun and
calming it is.
•
Be prepared with interesting
and fun conversation
starter questions.
ConversationStarters.com is
a great site to visit.
•
Notice something in the
restaurant that catches
your eye. Describe it
to yourself— its shape,
approximate size, weight,
the space that it contains,
colors, textures, etc. Move
on to another object and do
the same thing. Keep going
until you feel calmer.
•
Imagine how you’d like
the date to go before you
meet with him. Visualize
the expression on his face,
how calm you feel, and
how much fun you are both
having. The more you do
this, the more likely you
are to experience what you
desire versus what you fear.
Remember, as you imagine,
so it is.
Here are some tips to keeping
the focus on your date:
•
Imagine that you are an
artist painting your date ’s
face or portrait on a canvas.
Envision how you’d paint
his face (you can do this
while he’s talking without
him noticing what you’re
doing). What colors would
you use? Notice the shape
of his eyes. How would you
paint them? Where would
you place the shading
around his eyes, nose, and
mouth? Keep doing this
curiosity exercise until you
feel more present. Extra tip:
Try practicing this on other
people (without letting them
know what you’re doing)
before going on your date
Have fun!
Tamara
Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soul-centered Love
Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people
to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling
madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by
Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation
Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she
combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy
healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for
deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She
has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their
dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy.
Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook.com TGreenLoveExpert;
youtube: youtube.com/channel/UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A
eydismedia.com 27