Joy feelings magazine | Page 65

passion that brought you together in the first place. Fixating on the negatives wouldn't have worked in the beginning and it doesn't work now. "In marriage, it's easy to freeze your partner into a fixed perception. Get out of that," says Sherrie Campbell, PhD. She is a marriage and family therapist in Yorba Linda, Calif. Focus on the positive. Make a list of what you fell in love with and another list of good things you've discovered over time. "Publicly brag about those amazing qualities your partner has," Campbell says. "Refrain from making him the brunt of a joke. Embrace his positive qualities and let him know you've fully got his back." Remember those fabulous qualities you noticed in your partner when you started dating? Time and stress may have brought their lessfavorable traits into sharper focus, says psychologist Elizabeth R. Lombardo, PhD. But their good qualities are probably still there. Do something crazy (or new). One study found that couples who did novel and arousing things together felt better about their relationships than 65