JOY FEELINGS MAGAZINE OCTOBER.2015 | Page 5

Scotia, Canada I tried anal sex seven years ago with a former boyfriend. It was a spur of the moment decision, no lube, no nothing. He got inside me gradually, uncomfortably... and then I asked him to get out. There was nothing pleasurable about it. After that, I had two more boyfriends who were very interested in anal penetration and stimulation. I let one boyfriend stimulate my rosebud, but found nothing pleasurable from it, in fact, all I could think of was "there's a finger up my ass!" And again, this was with no lube. I refused to engage in any anal stimulation with these other two partners, giving or receiving. That all has changed with my current lover and partner. I feel a deep connection with him, which has allowed me to let go of my inhibitions and trust him and the situation. Most importantly, before we ever tried anal sex, my partner communicated his desires to me, desires he'd had for a long time but had told nobody. He felt safe enough to talk to me about them because I had been so open in talking with him about sex, sexuality, and sexual desire. He told me about all the research he had done on the topic- for example, use tons of lube (if you think you have enough, use even more!) and that the woman needed to be in total control of JOY FEELINGS