safe... a must for anal toys), and it's not much bigger than your
finger and no nails! Insert it slowly, you're waiting to feel the
butt relax and accept this small bit; remember, don't go
further than you say you will, or your partner will tense up and
you'll be back at ground zero.
A quick note about toys: most toy materials are porous, which
means they absorb bacteria (read our articles about toy
materials for more details: Sex Toy Materials—
Silicone, and Sex Toy Materials—Latex, Glass, Wood and
Cyberskin). Soft toys are better for beginning anal players,
and silicone is by far the best (and easiest to clean) of soft toy
materials. If you use a toy that's not silicone, be sure to put a
condom on it to keep bacteria from coming into contact with
the surface of the toy. Also, be sure anything you put near
your butt has a flared base; your butt can create a vacuum and
can suck non-flared items up further than you're game for
(that's why we hear such insane emergency room stories).
5.
Lube: I know I mentioned this before, but it’s that
important. I use Sliquid Silver (silicone lube) because it
doesn’t dry up quickly, and our bodies expel it when we’re
done. If you use water-based lube, be sure to re-apply often, as
you might not realize that you're lube has dried up deep inside
you.
6.
Anal sex shouldn't hurt: if it does, slow
down, start smaller, and use more lube.
Another one of my favorite Nina Hartley
quotes: “Butts cannot be forced, willed or
JOY FEELINGS