6
Your independence is still
yours.
Being previously stuck in a fiveyear codependent relationship
left me feeling like a shell more
than a complete person. I finally
ended it, got in the car, and
realized I could go anywhere and
no one would change that. My
life as an ex-Stepford Wife took
flight. I swiftly explored hobbies,
let the social butterfly in me fly
free, renewed my passport, and
even left the country for a while.
When I came across people from
my past, they were astonished
that I wasn’t chin-deep in a pint
of Ben & Jerry’s. Remarkably,
freedom tasted far better than
sorrow. I didn’t want to start a
new relationship and lose this
supreme sense of self I’d
developed. Having a relationship
miles away meant skipping the
honeymoon phase—the 90-day
vortex of being obsessed with
spending time together. I
surprised myself with how
independent I was in my new
relationship. If I checked in, it
was to tell my boyfriend how my
JF mag!
day was, not to give him a
minute-by-minute transcript to
prove my trust. My boyfriend
helped me realize that achieving
my independence wasn’t a
pageant crown to pass along to
the next victor—it was always
going to be mine no matter what
relationship I entered.
2. Listening becomes a vital
skill.
In a generation that ѡɥٕ́