JOY FEELINGS MAGAZINE March 2016 | Page 6

6 Your independence is still yours. Being previously stuck in a fiveyear codependent relationship left me feeling like a shell more than a complete person. I finally ended it, got in the car, and realized I could go anywhere and no one would change that. My life as an ex-Stepford Wife took flight. I swiftly explored hobbies, let the social butterfly in me fly free, renewed my passport, and even left the country for a while. When I came across people from my past, they were astonished that I wasn’t chin-deep in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Remarkably, freedom tasted far better than sorrow. I didn’t want to start a new relationship and lose this supreme sense of self I’d developed. Having a relationship miles away meant skipping the honeymoon phase—the 90-day vortex of being obsessed with spending time together. I surprised myself with how independent I was in my new relationship. If I checked in, it was to tell my boyfriend how my JF mag! day was, not to give him a minute-by-minute transcript to prove my trust. My boyfriend helped me realize that achieving my independence wasn’t a pageant crown to pass along to the next victor—it was always going to be mine no matter what relationship I entered. 2. Listening becomes a vital skill. In a generation that ѡɥٕ́