Jewish Life Digital Edition September 2015 | Page 56

SERIES

things i learned…

While teaching everyone else
by rabbi yossy goldman

Example, example, example
We can’t we teach anyone to do something that
we don’t do ourselves
A rabbi I knew told me he started out studying law, but then switched to rabbinic
studies. When I asked him why, he said he
decided he’d rather preach than practice.
So, once again, the yom tov season is
upon us. Another year is almost gone and
another new year will soon begin. Even
those who don’t frequent shul all year
round will make their annual appearance,
and everyone will listen to more sermons
than they probably care to.
One of my favourite lines I once heard in
the name of a veteran American rabbi is:
“Every rabbi has only one sermon.” Now
what does that mean? The rabbi repeats
the very same sermon every Shabbos and
yom tov?! Surely that’s impossible. No,
what he meant was that every rabbi has
only one sermon – the way he lives his life.
Rabbis can preach from today till kingdom come but their words will remain

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hollow and meaningless if they are not
backed up by action. They may be the
greatest orators and most eloquent
speakers on the planet, but if the audience knows it is mere words alone and
there is no substance behind them, it will
leave them cold, unmoved, and unimpressed. The ‘way he lives his life’ means
the way he conducts himself in his private
life and the way he treats people in his
public life. Ultimately, those are the most
powerful sermons that will influence and
inspire a community. But if he is not a
good role model and his behaviour leaves
much to be desired, then his words, no
matter how eloquent, will be wasted.

And it’s not only rabbis. Whether it is
rabbis or teachers, principals or parents,
our charges will emulate not our teachings, but our actions. ‘Do as I say, not as I
do’ simply does not work. It’s quite incredible how children have these amazing
antennae to pick up the slightest, subtlest
of hypocrisies in us. As soon as they sense
that we are preaching about something
we ourselves do not actually practice,
their defence system springs into action
and they will ignore our instructions. And
we will have nothing to say because we
know they are right.
Telling our children to “go to shul” is
not nearly as effective as saying to them,
“Come to shul.” The former is an insincere
and dishonest instruction by a distant authority that may himself be going to the
office, shopping, or golf. The latter is a
genuine invitation to a child to join a parent for a happy family occasion.
The old adage: “There are three things
that matter when it comes to property –
location, location, location,” has its own
parallel in education. The three things
that matter most in education are example, example, example.
Here’s a true story. A few senior rabbis

Every rabbi has only one sermon
– the way he lives his life.

Photograph: BIGSTOCKPHOTO.COM; portrait: ilan ossendryver

our charges will
emulate not our
teachings, but our
actions. ‘Do as I say,
not as I do’ simply
does not work.